Is sexual compatibility real?, Wanting more than a kiss, Exercises to stir up desire | ACW371
Ask Christopher West
Theology of the Body Institute
4.9 • 549 Ratings
🗓️ 9 February 2026
⏱️ 56 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–
Questions answered this episode:
- I am a single man in my twenties and have committed to reserving sex for marriage. People often try to dissuade me by bringing up “sexual compatibility,” telling stories of couples who waited and later divorced because they weren’t compatible in the marriage bed. I struggle to respond since I can’t speak from experience about what sexual compatibility or good sex really means. My gut tells me there’s something selfish in this reasoning, yet every married couple hopes sexual intimacy will be wonderful for both spouses. So what is sexual compatibility, and is it really possible for a man and woman to be sexually incompatible?
- I am a young woman with a fantastic boyfriend. When we kiss, it usually lasts for only a second, but I’ve found myself wanting a kiss from him that is longer and more intimate. I also have this desire when it comes to being held by him or cuddling. Thankfully, we both love theology of the body and desire to grow in chastity in our relationship, but I’m not sure how prudent these desires are because I don’t want to use him for physical pleasure. Is it okay for me to want these things from him even though we aren’t married? Can they be done in a chaste way? Having had unchaste experiences with men I’ve dated in the past makes me feel as though I’d be tainting my current relationship by doing these things, and the feelings that arise feel more like lust and crossing a boundary.
- I recently came across your work and have been listening to your podcasts and interviews incessantly. It is truly life-changing material. You’ve referenced a few times a retreat where a priest asked you to perform various exercises to help stir up your desires so that you could really learn how to pray. What were those exercises? I haven’t been able to find them through all the listening I’ve been doing.
Resources:
Word Made Fresh Podcast on YouTube
Word Made Fresh Podcast on Spotify
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Our faithful listeners know that I've been of late sharing with you guys an app called Truthly. |
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| 0:13.5 | They believe in what we're doing. |
| 0:15.3 | And our audience, who is familiar with asking questions about the Catholic faith, |
| 0:20.5 | you guys should really know about this app called Truthly. who is familiar with asking questions about the Catholic faith. |
| 0:27.9 | You guys should really know about this app called Truthly, T-R-U-T-H-L-Y, |
| 0:31.4 | faithful to the Magisterium, rooted in Scripture, |
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| 0:47.8 | I've been using Truthley just to poke around and see what kind of answers they come up when |
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| 1:24.4 | From the Theology of the Body Institute, this is the Ask Christopher West podcast. |
| 1:40.3 | Hi, podcast listeners. |
| 1:42.2 | Hey, everybody. |
| 1:43.4 | So happy to be with you again. So happy to be with you again. |
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