Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, BTR.org. I'm Anne. I'm sure you remember what it was like when you were searching for help, maybe for your husband, hoping to find the right program or therapist. That's why I started podcasting. I supported my husband through seven years of pornography addiction recovery and not one therapist during that time told me I was experiencing emotional

and psychological abuse and sexual coercion. I didn't want any other woman on the planet to be in

the dark. If you're like the majority of my listeners, you're experiencing the type of abuse that's

invisible and difficult to wrap your head around. Your husband is using porn or having

affairs or lying to you, and you're getting the same bad advice about how to improve communication

or your relationship. If you need support from women who totally understand, check out our daily

group session schedule at BTR.org slash group. We'd love to see you in a session today. One simple, anonymous way to help spread the word

is to click, follow, or subscribe to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast on your favorite

podcasting app. While you're there, every five-star rating helps make this podcast more visible

and will help save other women from getting the wrong kind of help, like a couple

program that will make this type of abuse worse. For those of you who follow or subscribe to this

podcast, thank you so much. Your support means so much to me. I am delighted to have Dr. Robin

Stern on today's episode. She is the co-founder and associate director for the Yale Center for

Emotional Intelligence and a senior consultant at the Yale New Haven Hospital. She is a licensed

psychoanalyst with 30 years of experience treating individuals, couples, and families. She's

the author of the Gaslight Effect, How to Spot and Survive

Hidden Manipulation Others Used to Control Your Life, and The Gaslight Effect Recovery

Guide Your Personal Journey toward Healing from Emotional Abuse. Dr. Stern has been a guest on many

local and national radio shows and has traveled widely to lecture on emotional intelligence,

women in leadership, and relational bullying. Welcome, Dr. Stern. Thank you so much, Ann. Thank you so

much for having me on this show and for doing this work to help women. I'm delighted.

Let's just start with the definition of gaslighting, since you're the gaslighting

...