The Bugle! Audio Newspaper for a visual world.

Hello, buglers, and welcome to issue 4,381 of the bugle audio newspaper for a visual world.

I'm Andy Zaltzman here in London in the shed where dreams come to die.

Sorry, where I go and I wake up in the morning.

Potato, potato.

It's the 2nd of June 26 as we record.

But insert the date on which you are actually listening to this here

by the time you yourself are listening,

proving once again that

either time remains unchangeable and the one constant in our otherwise fluid world, or that time

travel has finally been invented, delete according to whether you were listening to this after or

before the 2nd of June 2026. Anyway, joining me, resolutely sticking to the presence where we all belong,

frankly, delighted to welcome back to the presence where we all belong, frankly.

I'm delighted to welcome back to the bugle, Ria Lina and Mark Steele. Hello, hello both of you. How are you?

Good morning afternoon night. Insert here, what time you're listening to us.

I'm fine, Andy. I've been to Germany to watch my football team win a contrived cup. Yes. I mean, it's an odd sponsorship tie up, contrived as a concept. But, you know,

I guess you've got to sell it. So this was the Mighty Crystal Palace. Their first European...

The conference league?

The conference league, but it doesn't really matter.

You know, it could be called the Ram 3 Fruit Bastel Conference,

and it would be fine with that.

In what form did the conference element of this come about?

...