Iowa Caucuses Special: Pete Buttigieg
Bad Gays
Huw Lemmey & Ben Miller
4.5 • 934 Ratings
🗓️ 29 January 2020
⏱️ 94 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to another special guest episode of Bad Gays, a podcast where we uncover the dark |
| 0:14.9 | of gays and queer folks in history. I'm Ben Miller, a writer, historian, and member of the |
| 0:20.3 | board of the Shvulus Museum in Berlin. There'm Ben Miller, a writer, historian, and member of the board of the Shvulles |
| 0:21.5 | Museum in Berlin. There's a kind of conversation I used to have when working in offices |
| 0:27.0 | with large gay populations. The conversation happened frequently enough that I began to be |
| 0:32.2 | able to predict how it might unfold. An older gay male colleague, typically white and trim and successful, would set off |
| 0:39.5 | on a lament about the impossible meanness and pettiness about gay culture, would speak from the heart |
| 0:44.6 | about loneliness and feelings of inadequacy. Then, strangely, the conversation would turn to the idea, |
| 0:51.5 | expressed with varying degrees of confidence and anger, that there was a subgroup |
| 0:55.8 | of gays who had the wrong goals, too much sex with too many people, going to drag bars on a Tuesday |
| 1:01.5 | night. These sorts were holding the good ones back from finally merging into the mundane, |
| 1:06.7 | and it was suggested more fulfilling, every day of bourgeois life. |
| 1:17.5 | Maybe I would suggest the root of these colleagues on happiness wasn't evil sex radicals or unreconstructed sissies, |
| 1:20.8 | but the impossible situation contemporary gays find ourselves in. |
| 1:26.2 | The promise of acceptance and tolerance if we force ourselves into relationship models that often chafe, |
| 1:27.8 | the way that rights of access to institutions like military service and marriage have divided us from queer and trans sisters |
| 1:32.6 | and siblings, the gentrification of our community spaces out of major urban centers, our |
| 1:38.2 | own complicity, if we are white, and I am and these men always were, in these same processes |
| 1:43.1 | of gentrification, and the |
| 1:44.8 | ingrained misogyny that leads to a drive towards hypermasculinity and thinness, |
| 1:49.6 | no, the colleague would insist, it's just that bitchy mean gay culture, it's toxic. |
| 1:54.9 | In the community, we have a name for these people, a-gays. |
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