International Waters Ep. 3: Exploding Draculas
Jordan, Jesse, GO!
Jesse Thorn
4.8 • 3.5K Ratings
🗓️ 10 May 2012
⏱️ 68 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, Jordan Jesse Go listeners. It's me Jesse. We don't have a new episode for you this week because we are in the midst of moving to our brand new maximum fund or World Headquarters. |
| 0:11.0 | Yes, that's right. We've got a new office. However, I thought that in lieu of a new episode of Jordan Jesse Go, I would take this opportunity to introduce you to our newest Max Fun Show. |
| 0:21.0 | It's a show that Jordan and I are working on together along with our colleague across the pond, Colin Anderson. It's a comedy quiz show called International Waters. |
| 0:31.0 | This is our third episode. We're really proud of it. We think it's really hilarious. You should subscribe and listen in iTunes. Here is a sample episode. Enjoy it. |
| 0:42.0 | Hello and welcome to International Waters. I'm your host Jesse Thorne. In the mid 1960s, America experienced a British invasion. |
| 0:51.0 | During this period, American teens went crazy for mop top rock bands from the UK. While they were making their mark on popular culture, they were also laying waste to the American landscape. |
| 1:02.0 | Bands like the Beatles, the animals and the Dave Clark five destroyed crops, defiled monuments and emitted toxic clouds that still hover over certain parts of the Midwest. |
| 1:12.0 | The Queen has yet to issue a formal apology for this British invasion. So we're going to settle the score here today by making comedians compete in a pop culture quiz. |
| 1:23.0 | Playing today for the US of a a nation whose main export is reruns of Baywatch, a writer and comedian who has been seen on NBC's Parks and Recreation and current TV in addition to hosting the hit podcast throwing shade Miss Aaron Gibson. Hey, Aaron, how you doing? |
| 1:47.0 | I'm not good. Can I talk about it? Oh, no. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Please do. By all means, we always like to start every show on a sour note. I'm doing wonderful. Thank you. Aaron, I'm really excited. Later this month, I'm hoping to attend your Los Angeles stage show entertainment Hollywood. And I have seen the still shots, the promotional stills for this show. And you are as orange in this show as a human being could possibly be like beyond news. |
| 2:16.0 | Anchor Southern California news anchor orange like approaching carrot colored orange. It's nearly snooki. It's actually that's the bottle color. It's called almost snooki. Tell me like what do you have to do to get to that state of entertainment show skin color? Well, we have a makeup artist who sprays us like like silk wood style. |
| 2:43.0 | It is that dramatic as well. You have to be scrub down with steel. You actually do because if you put Tanner on a body that's got dry skin, it will collect. So you have to exfoliate really hard. And then you have to be sprayed by another human being as close to naked as you can get. |
| 3:02.0 | Also representing the majestic purple mountains of the United States of America famed improv comedian. You might know him from eastbound and down on the home box office network. Mr. Andy daily. Hey, Andy, how are you? I'm doing okay. I was reading about your career using internet. Oh, sure. And I learned that you're going to appear in a feature film called everybody loves whale. |
| 3:28.0 | I know, but it already came out. They changed the title to big miracle. Oh, boom. Sorry, man. What's the point? No, no, this is why this podcast works. |
| 3:45.0 | What are these whales of which you speak? No, it was a movie about whales that got trapped in the ice in Alaska in some effort to save them and things to that effect. |
| 3:56.0 | It does sound like a big miracle. You know what? Yeah, the only reason I didn't see it is because they changed the name from everybody loves whales. Everybody loves whales. They should have kept that name. |
| 4:08.0 | Yeah, you know what the problem was they found a couple of guys that didn't love whales. So in the focus and legal made them change the name. They're just like we cannot legally stand by that title anymore. |
| 4:20.0 | They were doing some they were doing some they found some like comment cards at a mall in Van Nies. Yeah, yeah, sorry guys. These two love whales. They're fine with dolphins. |
| 4:35.0 | They just don't the problem is they don't think mammals should be underwater. Doesn't make sense to them. Playing for the nation who's McDonald's served something called fish fingers is an actress in comedian who's appeared in the IT crowd. |
| 4:52.0 | Miranda and Peep show Margaret K born Smith. Hello, hello. I've come with the most English name I could possibly find. I know you should be you should be a character on Downton Abbey. |
| 5:04.0 | We should just put Dowager Countess before your name. Yeah, you're a business Margaret is actually the most common female name in the country here. It's really trashy. |
| 5:13.0 | No, it's not trashy, but it'll only be for a few more years because all of them except me are like 90. So they'll die out soon and I'll be the only one. But for now, it's actually very popular. |
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