And hello to you and welcome to the Richard Nichols podcast, the Personal Development

Podcast series that's here to help inspire, educate and motivate you to be the best you can be.

I'm psychotherapist Richard Nichols, and this episode is titled Insecure Attachment.

And if you're ready, we'll start the show.

Hi, a people. Hope all's well with you today. Well, not just today, obviously. I hope

was well with you every single day, and in every single way.

Although that's probably unrealistic, really. I might be an optimist, but I'm an optimistic

realist. Being a human in the modern world means that we usually a mixed bag of wellness.

We might be very happy with our social life, but we could be bored with our job.

Or we can feel quite secure at work, but we're insecure in our relationship.

And that's more common than you might think.

A lot of people assume that if we're naturally insecure people,

whether that's through nature or nurture,

then we're insecure in all areas of our life. But that's not strictly true.

I wrote about it a little bit in my book,

but I can be really quite insecure.

And when I mentioned this to a client once,

their eyes just wide and like sources that when you, blimey, if you can be insecure, what chances there for any of us? And we chatted about it, because sometimes we assume that happy and contented people must be

secure. And I am happy and contented. I've got to that point in life of practicing what I preach

most of the time to feel pretty good. But for 20 years, I've unconsciously been expecting my wife to tell me that she's finally had enough of me and he's going to leave me.

I consciously know that she loves me as much as I love her and she wants to grow old with me and so on.

But there's still that insecure, unconscious part of me that looks for reasons to disprove it.

...