Psychology in Seattle.

So Bob, I have a few things I want to talk with you today and get your opinion on. And why don't we just record the conversation and actually put it on the

internet and just see if anyone's listening what do you say?

That sounds interesting. This is the Psychology in Seattle Podcast.

I'm your host Dr. Kirkconda.

I'm a therapist and a professor.

Who are you, Bob?

I am also a therapist in practice here in Seattle,

and you and I have been friends for 25 years from way back when in

graduate school. So this first question comes from patron Adam he writes

if a client comes to therapy seeking validation for an affair and justification for the behaviors, what would you say?

Bob, what do you think?

I say, yeah, validation, absolutely. A person is in your interest interest it's in our interest to

understand what it is that drives us into behaviors that are so damaging to

relationship justification what up with that?

So you just ask that.

Yeah, like, what's the function of getting justification?

Because that feels defensive, doesn't it?

Meaning that they're trying to defend against something.

Uh-huh.

What are you defending against might be the question?

Oh, probably if it were me, the agony of the upset of my partner.

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