You're listening to Comedy Central.

Hey, what's going on, everybody?

I'm Trevor Noah, and this is the Daily Social Distance Show.

Today is February 9th, which means you only have five days left to prepare for Valentine's

Day.

And let's be honest, after the year we've all been through, remember to focus on what's

really important this year.

You know, don't worry about spending a lot of money on champagne or jewelry.

All you need to give your loved one is two stolen vials of the Pfizer vaccine.

Anyway, on tonight's show, why India is beefing with Rihanna?

Doce Sloan weighs in on Gorilla Glue, and Donald Trump is on trial for murder, ring the

Constitution.

So let's do this, people.

Welcome to the Daily Social Distance Show.

From Trevor's couch in New York City to York couch somewhere in the world.

This is the Daily Social Distance Show with Trevor Noah.

Here's an issue.

Let's kick things off with today's big story, Donald J. Trump, unemployed Twitter bot and

former president of the United States.

Today, Trump became the only president ever to face a second impeachment trial, which

is pretty impressive when you consider he only showed up to work about half of the time.

I mean, if Trump really applied himself as president, we could be on impeachment number

...