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The Mel Robbins Podcast

Incredible Research From Harvard: 4 Simple Tools to Conquer Your Fear

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.810.6K Ratings

🗓️ 24 April 2023

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A few years ago, I found this study from Harvard, and it changed my life. It's research about performance and feeling nervous, with a simple reframing method that you can use to never let fear stop you again. I’ve been using this technique with my five second rule for years, and the first way I applied it was to get control of my nerves and fear of public speaking. I’m going to teach you this new method in a super cool way... by taking you on the road, on stage, and behind the scenes with me as I deliver a keynote address to 3,000 people at the convention center in Dallas. I’ve been wanting to bring you on the road with me for awhile, and this topic allowed me to record this episode live in multiple locations while all kinds of things were unfolding. There’s even an impromptu guest appearance from Michelle Poler, whose entire speaking career is about teaching people how to face their fears. This Harvard-backed technique is so cool because it leverages your body chemistry, physiology, and neural pathways to your advantage. The #1 fear most people have is public speaking, but this technique will help you with absolutely everything, whether it’s speaking up at work, giving an incredible presentation, not choking when you deliver the toast at your best friend’s wedding, performing better on tests, or even running better. Stop letting fear hold you back. Use science not only to reframe your fears into excitement but to conquer them once and for all. And one more thing. My free, brand new, research-backed training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins" is live and waiting for you. Get 3 incredible video trainings plus a 21-page workbook, and all you have to do is sign up here. Already a quarter of a million students are taking the course for free. I’m just waiting for you! Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 5:00: I’m always asked how I got into public speaking. Here’s the story. 10:15: The question YOU need to ask when someone asks how much you charge. 12:15: One of THE best tools to calm your nerves is not meditation (for me), but this. 13:30: This is my favorite quote from Charlie Bird Parker. 15:15: The wardrobe failure that may have rivaled Janet Jackson’s. 16:30: Failure sucks, but the Pratfall Effect says failure can work for you. 19:00: I was so excited to meet this speaker and bestselling author from Venezuela. 21:45: Best journal starter question ever: Are you alive but not living? 24:30: Feeling like you never have time? You’re not going to believe this advice. 28:15: Turns out modeling nude is actually a really profound experience. 29:00: Fear might indicate danger OR it might indicate growth. Pay attention. 30:00: How can you tell the difference between true intuition and limiting fear? 32:30: How do you get over your fear of public speaking? 34:00: Feeling imposter syndrome? You’re not alone. Here’s what you need. 40:15: Come on stage with me at the Dallas Convention Center. 40:40: I’m going to face my biggest fear next year for Oakley’s 18th birthday. 42:00: When you do something that scares the pants off you, remember this. 44:30: Tool #3 is based on research from Harvard - here’s what you tell yourself. 50:00: You don’t feel butterflies when you’re nervous because you’re going to screw up. Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, it's your friend Mel. Welcome to Mel Robbins podcast. That right there is the Dallas Convention Center.

0:11.0

3,000 women in the audience. I am taking the stage today and I am taking you to work with me.

0:18.0

Are you ready for this? I'm ready for this. Let's fucking go.

0:26.0

Okay.

0:28.0

Alrighty. You ready? I'm serious. It's take you to work day for Mel Robbins.

0:32.0

I've been wanting to take you on the road with me for

0:35.0

whoo, months ever since we launched this podcast.

0:38.0

And I do want to thank those of you that come up every single day.

0:43.0

It doesn't matter where I am. Grocery store, airplane, hotel lobby,

0:47.0

standing in line at the gas station. I love meeting you. Love it.

0:52.0

If you ever see me, I want you to know something. I would be mad.

0:57.0

If you didn't use the five-second rule five, where do you want to push yourself to come up and say hello.

1:03.0

People in 200 countries have been impacted by this show because of us, you and me.

1:08.0

We're sharing the episodes. We're showing up twice a week. And so I love meeting you.

1:12.0

Because it means that when I'm sitting in a hotel room in Dallas, I'm thinking of you.

1:18.0

And I'm thinking of the fact that this conversation is happening between us.

1:24.0

And that makes me show up in a way that I wouldn't show up if I weren't meeting you or hearing from you and reading your letters.

1:31.0

And so just thank you for that. And today we're going to talk about the biggest fear that people have in life.

1:37.0

Sign felled famously, joked that the person in the coffin isn't scared.

1:43.0

It's the person who has to speak about the person in the coffin who is.

1:47.0

The fear of public speaking is the number one fear that people have.

1:52.0

And I don't even mean necessarily talking on a stage like I do for a living.

...

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