Hello, dear, dear Tesla shareholders. It's me, your beloved CEO, Elon Musk. Some of you,

some of you may have noticed from the news. I recently met the world's most muscular thumb,

Mr. Joe Rogan. And on that show, I had a religious experience. He got me to try DMDMT, it's called. And as a result, I came to,

I came to some realizations. You might know that we've been, we've been trying to go to space for a long

time. Okay. But what I've realized is that, that space is everywhere. Okay, there's space in this room.

Okay. There's space, the space, the space in your's space, there's space, we don't need to go to space.

We can bring space to us.

And as a result, I've also decided that we can, you know, we've been trying to get the Tesla

to go faster, to make it self-driving.

I think we can train a Tesla to play fetch, okay?

People, you know, people are saying that it can't be done, okay, but those people, they have no imagination, right? They're the same kind of people who say you can't build a vacuum sealed tube across the whole

of the continental United States.

Well, I say, let's see how many people will die in the process.

That's what, we're here to find stuff like that out, right?

And, you know, I don't know, and that's why we're going to manufacture also an electric samurai sword, because, you know, you can get an electric turkey knife. Why can't you get an electric samurai sword,

right? You want to preserve a shogunate for a thousand years? You think you're going to do that

with an analog samurai sword? No, it's ridiculous. You can't. It's going to have three modes.

It's going to have safe, on, and epic bacon murder time. So yeah, thank you, thank you for attending this press conference, 4269 Blazett, thank you very much.

Mr. Musk, how are your workers reacting to these, frankly, quite strange new directions you're taking Tesla?

The thing is about our laborers is that they're very efficient.

What they understand is that, you know, they work in a different kind of factory.

Normal factory, you don't have a river of molten steel.

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