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Psychology In Seattle Podcast

Impact, Intention, and Responsibility

Psychology In Seattle Podcast

Kirk Honda

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.61.2K Ratings

🗓️ 16 May 2020

⏱️ 36 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bob takes the mic and talks about impact, intention, and responsibility.

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Email: https://psychologyinseattle.squarespace.com/contact

The Psychology In Seattle Podcast.

This content is for educational and informational purposes only. Although Kirk Honda is a licensed marriage and family therapist, this content is not a replacement for proper mental health treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health provider regarding any questions or concerns you have about your mental health needs.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello Psychology and Seattle podcast listeners. This is Bob Ghetto. I thought about something I'd like to talk about and it's been about two weeks since the last one I made and I got published on the website earlier this week and you all gave me a lot of feedback about it and I really appreciate that.

0:21.5

Thank you very much, very encouraging to do another one.

0:25.6

So I don't want to just talk at you for the sake of talking. I only want to talk if I have something

0:32.1

that I think is worth saying.

0:34.0

This is the Psychology and Seattle Podcast.

0:37.5

This is sort of an adjunct to that.

0:38.8

My name is Bob Gettle.

0:39.8

I'm a therapist in practice here in Seattle. And a frequent, semi-frequent guest on that

0:47.2

podcast. Did I just, was that redundant? Anyways, and I see a lot of couples in my practice and I teach a little dBT and today I thought it would be interesting to talk about intention versus impact.

1:05.0

One of the things that happens in couple counseling is you,

1:10.0

it doesn't happen in couple counseling it happens in relationships

1:13.2

where we are intention which is usually something positive or noble or at least not

1:18.3

malicious

1:19.7

lands absolutely backwards with our partner where they interpret us as being mean or cruel or unfeeling or indifferent or something where the impact we have on them is really vastly different from the

1:35.4

intention that we have and when that happens a lot of us you know we sort of

1:40.5

slink back to the defense of well that's not what I meant to have happen right we sort of find

1:46.6

ourselves there and we hope or we think that it ought to be sufficient that our intention ought to be enough to get the other person to, you know,

1:57.0

settle down or not be so mad at us. Like intention is the thing that matters and guess what?

2:04.0

It's the thing that never matters.

2:07.0

Impact is the thing that really matters.

2:09.0

It's not that intention is irrelevant.

2:11.0

It's, of course it's relevant.

...

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