Let's talk about pivots and how in this moment, especially historically, we're all being asked to make them and how everyone's asked always in their lives to everyone has a moment where they have a choice.

Hey everybody, it's me, Busy Phillips. Welcome to Busy Phillips is doing her best. Help me say hi to Chintira Jackson and Casey St. Onja. Hi. Hello. Hi. Hi. So guys, this is it. This is episode one of our podcast.

I don't know. We don't know what we're doing. I just feel like it's going to be fine. I'm excited. I love to talk. You know that about me. I feel like what happened in my ears and throat doctors office earlier this week is sort of analogous to what's happening with the way that I feel about this podcast.

I've been having really bad acid reflux for two months. Almost everyone I know has been having terrible like something, something that's not COVID, but it's like eating away at them.

And so mine has been this throat thing. It's just been so weird. And so I went to see Dr. Sugarman had to get a COVID test before I went to the office. Everybody wore masks. And he looked in my throat and he was like, yeah, well, you know, we got to do this camera thing.

We got to go down your throat. And I was like, that's fine. You know, I had sinus surgery a couple years ago. I've sugarman's been my doctor since I was 20 years old. I started seeing Dr. Sugarman.

And you know, he's a kind of doctor in Beverly Hills where like his his walls are plastered with gold records from like Christine Aguilera and like Britney Spears. And then they need not wait. I'm not even kidding you. He took they took the nurse took me into the special scope room.

And like hidden behind a corner like truly hidden on the corner. No one could see it was white snake like a white snake gold record. And I was like, Oh, poor white snake guys.

Back there. Anyway, so I went in and they like put this numbing thing. He's like, so we do the scope up your nose and then down your throat to check out what's happening. And I was like, again, I got this. And he went up the nose. I'm like, it's a professional. And got down. He's like now starting.

And I legit like gagged so hard that I was like, you're going to get out. And he like pulled it pulled it out. I was like, Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's try it again. I'm good. I can do this. I'm so good at this. I'm great at this. And he started to do it again. And the same thing happened. I had this like violent physical reaction. I could not let the camera get past a certain.

Point. And so after the fourth time, he changed, he changed the scope. He went for the kids. I have children.

He got the children scope out. And and and he pulled it out. Meanwhile, I you know, I'm a sweater. Right. Everybody knows. And not like guys, not like a cozy sweater. Like I sweat constantly. And like a wet sweater. I'm a wet sweater. And I sweat on my sweater.

I swear on my face. God help us all when I go through menopause. You know what I mean? Like it's going to be such a puddle anyway. Back to sugar men in the scope situation.

I'm he fourth time pulls the camera out. And I'm sweating so hard. I'm a puddle. I'm on one of those like plastic chairs. There's like so much sweat under my legs. It's so gross. I know when I stand up, there's going to be two leg marks. And and I just start. I started crying. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I'm not good at this. I should be better at this. I don't know why.

I don't know why. I just don't know how to do it. And I wish I knew. And I'm sorry. And I think that I don't know what to tell you. He's like, you have to breathe. You need to breathe. How could you expect to be good at having a scope.

Stuck down past your vocal cords. Why would you be good at that? You've never had that done before in these past almost 20 years that I've seen you. We've never done this. Why would you be good at it?

And it's not something that people can be good at. It's just, it just is what it is. And I just felt this like insane pressure. Like that I wanted him to think I was the best patient.

Yeah. I wanted to be the best at it. And when I couldn't do it, it like paralyzed me and caused me to have kind of like a panic attack and breakdown.

And I was thinking about I'm always trying to like tie in the physical with the emotional, you know, and I was thinking about like this week and we're going to record this podcast and the breakdown insurance office and my and I'm having throat problems like when I've like agreed to do a podcast.

And I was like, Oh, it's because I might not be the best at it. And if I'm not the best at it, I want to have something to say, well, you know why I wasn't the best at it because I had these like throat issues. And so, you know, I wasn't I wasn't I didn't have full range of my like, you know what I mean.

Yeah. So anyway, all that to say I'm putting it out there that I might not be the fucking best at this because I've never done it before. And it's new for me. And there've been a lot of new things. And no, I'm going to cry.

And I think that in life, this is kind of what we decided this podcast should be more about than what we initially had had sold it as because what we initially had sold it as doesn't exist anymore.

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