Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

What is the difference between toxic love and conscious love?

Toxic love is where both people are working independently to use the relationship to serve their own needs.

That's toxic love.

And conscious love is where both people independently take care of themselves

so they can bring their best self to each other.

And where this often goes wrong is that toxic love turns into a competition.

Toxic love now is who's doing more for each other, who gives more love to each other, who does

more work around the house? You turn the whole thing into a competition which is not teamwork. And conscious love is not saying you're the whole thing into a competition, which is not teamwork.

And conscious love is not saying you're the selfless one, it's you're making agreements.

I think that's the mistake that love was constantly, conscious love was always like,

be selfless, love more than the other person, give more.

That's not healthy either.

What's healthy is we're actually going to create

boundaries, we're actually going to create agreements, we're actually going to create principles,

we're going to create rules. The reason why I call the book Eight Rules of Love is my hope that it

will inspire other couples to create their own list of rules in their own relationship.

A conscious relationship is one that is built on a foundation of healthy agreements. Yes. Toxic love is, it's interesting

when you look at the word toxic as well. Tell me. So toxic love is when your trauma is the oxygen for your relationship.

Right?

If you think about the word, like the idea that your trauma is what you're breathing into the relationship.

Oh, my gosh, that is so true.

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