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The Tom Barnard Podcast

If you love Johnny Carson, check out Love Johnny Carson - #2878

The Tom Barnard Podcast

Complete Disaster Network

Entertainment News, Comedy, News, Sports

4.1652 Ratings

🗓️ 22 October 2025

⏱️ 74 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Mark Malkoff joins us today to determine who's more obsessed with Carson - him or Tom. Considering he's written a book and hosted a podcast specifically on the topic, it's safe to say it's him. But we've done almost 3000 episodes of this show and Carson comes up in approximately half of them, so maybe it's closer than you think.

On the show:

  • Tom
  • Andy
  • Kristyn Burtt
  • Mark Malkoff


Topics covered:

  • Halloween movies
  • Torture porn vs. movies that are actually good
  • Johnny Carson
  • Love Johnny Carson

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The O-Line Committee podcast.

0:03.2

Sixteen years of NFL trenches experience. Talking football every week. What was something you had or most important to wear on game day? Equiblock, they put it on the horses before they race. He had to put it on with gloves. I've been right, walk by and like burn the eyes. Like, what is that? He's got's like, I got to ask him for it. You just walk.

0:21.4

The O-line Committee podcast with Jay, the Rhino, and Mackey on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

0:33.1

I waited one more time for me to do that.

0:54.7

Ladies gentlemen, welcome to Tom Bernard show with family and... Andy Brandt Bernard. And Kristen Bert. Mom's not here. She's not here. No question about it. She's out gallivanting somewhere. I don't even know. With Jude? Yeah, Jude doesn't seem to be there. Jude's with me.

0:55.5

Oh, is he?

1:28.0

He's not in the chair anymore. I don't know where he went. Judy, where'd you go? He wandered off probably to tear holes and things or something. I don't know what he. Who knows what he's doing, but that's the deal. Kristen Bird Entertainment News brought you by North American banking company. Go to NABanko.comcom to learn more. Remember FDIC Equal Housing Lender. My initial report to you is, I know that it's Halloween in what nine days? It's the 22nd today. Yeah, yeah, nine days. So nine days from now, it'll be Halloween, and I still can't talk Catherine into watching a Halloween movie. So what I did was I did a little research on which one she'd like,

1:34.8

so I watched about four or five, you know, 10, 20, 30 minutes of these shows. The movies suck.

1:43.9

Which ones did you watch? I don't even remember the name of them. Like, I mean, a good classic, like, Halloween with Jamie Lee Curtis is good. Yeah, that's a good one. Yep, that's good. Old School Friday the 13th. Freddy Kruger. There's some good classics in there. There are. There are. Or you could go back to Hitchitchcock even. That would be fun. Alfred Hitchcock did the best job with any of that stuff, didn't he? Yeah, he did it without so much gore. You know, that is so clever with that. You couldn't do that with today's audiences in the same way. No, no question about that. It's just, I don't know. Obviously because Andy and I, Andy was born in October, I was born in November, Andy's son was born in November, his other kids was born in September. So this time of the year is very special to us. I mean, you got, Alex was born in February, but Andy was born in October and then I was born in November. So we get all these times together, which being a

2:34.3

Minnesotan is a really nice thing because the end of summer happens with Andy's birthday,

2:40.7

and the beginning of winter happens my birthday. So that's kind of how that goes. But you have

2:47.4

something to be happy about and celebrate even though the weather.

2:51.6

November 7th, we have had huge snowstorms and very cold.

2:55.6

On a day like that, if you're surrounded by family who love you, who cares about the weather.

3:01.6

Yeah, I guess as long as you're inside and it's nice and cozy,'re good nice and cold you got to be nice and

3:08.8

cozy no question no doubt about that what's happening in your world sister um well I

3:15.2

don't know if Andy told you this story your guest today I actually didn't know it was

3:19.7

your guest today oh yeah and I was like you have to have my friend Mark Malkoff on

3:23.3

today and guess who's your guest today Mark M my friend Mark Malkoff on today. And guess who's your

3:24.6

guest today? Mark Malkoff? Mark Malkoff. And I sent that last night or yesterday afternoon or whatever. Isn't that funny? I'm like, this, I go, he would be the perfect guest for you. What, do you want to be on for a couple of minutes with him? I can, yeah. I haven't seen him in a hot minute. He lives in New York and I'm in L.A.

3:42.2

The last time, we hosted a live show together, the Streamy Awards.

3:46.7

And I'm going to say it was probably 2009 or 10.

...

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