If You Aren't Willing to Have It (Anxiety, Fear, Doubt, Depression et al.) You Will - Understanding Acceptance

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 8 March 2023

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Stephen Hayes, the founder of the groundbreaking therapy technique Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), says, “If you’re not willing to have it, then you will.” Have what, you might ask? Anything you are trying to get rid of, from anxiety and depression to fear and loss. So what if the key to overcoming your anxiety was to welcome your anxiety in with arms wide open? You might think to yourself, “I’m willing to do that if embracing anxiety will eventually help me get rid of it!” But if that is why you’re doing it, you will continue to be anxious. Tony shares his thoughts on one of the most important yet paradoxical parts of ACT, “Acceptance and Willingness,” from Dr. Hayes's book “Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life,” https://amzn.to/421Qssr (https://amzn.to/421Qssr)Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch (https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch)Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch (https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch) Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts worldwide. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder.And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 (https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0)Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop (http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop) to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Transcript

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0:00.0	So I recently found myself on a run and I was cold. I was freezing and my wife was under the weather.
0:06.9	We typically run together on Saturday mornings and we're back in my active ultra running days. I would spend a few hours early, really early on a Saturday morning trying to get all my miles in.
0:16.2	But now a couple two or three years post meniscus tear, I'm giddy to be able to just bust out, I don't know,
0:22.4	eight, ten, twelve miles for my long run on a Saturday, and especially when I could go with my wife.
0:27.2	But on this particular day, she was not feeling up to it. And to be honest, I kind of wasn't feeling
0:32.0	it either. So it doesn't surprise me that I neglected to check the weather before I headed out, and it was cold,
0:38.7	and it was windy, and I was a few miles away from home, and I hadn't really thought out my route.
0:43.1	So instead of finishing with a strong wind against my back, I had opted for that strong wind
0:48.2	to carry me as far away from my house as possible, which at this point only meant about three
0:52.4	or four miles. But that absolutely meant
0:54.6	that the run home was not going to be easy. So one of the things that I'm truly grateful for as a mental
0:59.1	health provider is continually trying to learn about things that I think can help my clients. And I have now
1:04.7	been practicing long enough to know that if I'm being honest, everything, I find myself embracing
1:08.8	and putting into my practice, I embrace and put
1:12.1	into my practice because it truly resonates with me. And I've accepted the fact, I think,
1:16.4	kind of long ago that, yeah, in fact, I did become a therapist many, many years ago, apparently
1:22.4	to deal with my own issues. So I found myself thinking about a phrase that I often say that I don't think people find
1:28.7	as powerful as maybe I do. And I also realize, thank you therapy, that is an observation that I make
1:33.6	when I say this phrase and people don't leap off my couch and say, oh my gosh, that's the one. That's it.
1:38.9	You did it. You just changed my life with that one phrase. That if that is not what I observe,
1:43.8	then I quickly make a judgment.
1:45.4	I make in that very moment to maybe ease my own anxiety or to make sense of that moment for me
	...

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