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Sean of the South

If I Were Rich

Sean of the South

Sean Dietrich

Personal Journals, S-town, Music, Alabama, Garrison Keillor, Storytelling, Story, Garden And Gun, Southern Living, Serial, Southern Culture, S Town, Old Radio, Lake Wobegon, Stories, Prairie Home Companion, Arts, Society & Culture, Live From Here, Story Podcast

5.0546 Ratings

🗓️ 13 November 2024

⏱️ 4 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What would Sean Dietrich do if he was rich? To subscribe to Sean's daily blog, https://seandietrich.com/subscribe/ For information on events or other Sean of the South news, visit https://seandietrich.com/ To sponsor an episode, email LauraBeth@SeanDietrich.com Sean Dietrich is a columnist, humorist, multi-instrumentalist, and stand-up storyteller known for his commentary on life in the American South. His work has appeared in Newsweek, Southern Living, Reader's Digest, Garden and Gun, an...

Transcript

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0:00.0

You're listening to Sean of the South podcast brought to you by Food City,

0:03.9

fresh, local, and full of flavor.

0:06.3

From certified angus beef and locally grown produce to fresh sushi, wings, and

0:10.8

dates in Watson deli meats, food city has it all ready to go.

0:15.0

Enjoy curbside pickup, full service floral, and pharmacies that accept thousands of

0:19.5

insurance plans and benefit cards.

0:21.6

Earn fuel bucks and save at any gas and go fuel center because nobody does food like Food City.

0:28.4

Find your nearest store at foodcity.com.

0:33.4

If I were rich.

0:36.1

If I were rich, and I mean filthy rich, I'd buy a dog shelter first, hands down, no questions.

0:42.6

It would be a gigantic farm, big enough to house hundreds, no, thousands of dogs.

0:48.6

They would be free to roam, drinking out of huge sculpted toilets out back, and I'd call our ranch dog-gonnet.

0:56.1

Or maybe our dog is an awesome dog.

0:58.8

Man, you get the idea.

1:01.0

The second thing I'd do is gather the county's unfortunate children and offer them rooms and food for free.

1:08.5

They can take care of our dogs.

1:09.9

We'll need somebody to do that, to groom them, read them Dr. Seuss books, tell them bedtime

1:15.1

stories.

1:16.8

And our children are free to live on the farm until retirement age, at which point we'll

1:20.4

transfer them to the dog works in mysterious ways nursing home.

1:25.5

You'll find a school on our property, too, one with doggy doors, because while Miss Roberts

1:30.4

teaches the underprivileged multiplication tables, Otis and Sadie bound into the classroom

...

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