If I Ruled the World: The One Where Everyone Tries Crack

What Now? with Trevor Noah

SiriusXM & Day Zero Productions

News, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.7 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 16 January 2025

⏱️ 51 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Required drug taking? Assigned partnerships? Getting rid of politicians? Trevor, Christiana, and Josh are back with maybe their wildest “If I Ruled the World” yet. See which of their inspired ideas will get voted through, and why. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I believe everyone should try crack before they die.
0:02.8	But like, in a perfect world you would know right before you die.
0:06.1	I would.
0:06.7	I would do it in hospice.
0:08.0	Guys, if you're going out, go out with a bang.
0:10.2	Yeah, but I don't know.
0:10.9	Crack and pop bang.
0:11.8	No, I don't think crack is the best hospice drug.
0:14.7	What would you choose heroin?
0:16.1	Yeah.
0:16.5	Yeah, I'm with you.
0:17.1	But they give you that anyway. Yeah, they give you. That's what I'm saying, though. Because they already figured it out.
0:21.8	Yo, let me ask you something.
0:22.5	I'd want to do hookup. Have you seen somebody do crack and then like not be like more mobile than they were?
0:26.8	Crack heads keep jobs.
0:28.0	That's what I'm saying.
0:28.7	Fentanyl kills.
0:29.8	So I'm saying hospice should have crack.
0:32.3	But these people aren't going to be working. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Hospice will just have like a different swag to it.
0:37.8	This one is like an end stage thing.
0:39.5	Yeah.
0:39.7	Oh, I'm not saying crack for the people.
	...

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