“If I’d gone to Istanbul, none of this happens!” - John Bishop on Liverpool story Hollywood loved
That Peter Crouch Podcast
Tall or Nothing
4.4 • 2.5K Ratings
🗓️ 21 January 2026
⏱️ 82 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On this week’s episode of That Peter Crouch Podcast, Pete and Chris are holed up in a fancy hotel room ahead of a Hollywood-style chat with none other than John Bishop. From ball boy chaos at Watford to AFCON towel-gate madness, the lads kick things off with some classic football nonsense before diving into an incredible life story.
John opens up about the sliding doors moment that changed everything - missing Istanbul, walking away from a secure job, and somehow ending up with a Hollywood film based on his life, directed by Bradley Cooper. We hear how stand-up comedy nearly went wrong in front of the England squad, what it takes to win over a hostile room, and why being relaxed might be the most powerful weapon of all.
There’s Liverpool chat, Anfield directors’ box madness, iconic songs making their way into movies, and a reminder that football - just like life - can turn on one tiny moment. Plus, awkward hotel goodbyes, junket disasters, and proof that ball boys are officially on one.
As always, let us know in the comments - what’s your biggest sliding doors moment?
00:00 - Hotel room chaos and setting the scene
02:10 - Crouchy’s “ultra-professional” car collection story
04:45 - Why golf is boring… until it isn’t
06:05 - Watford vs Millwall and the ball boy disaster
08:00 - AFCON final madness and towel-gate
10:30 - Introducing John Bishop
13:45 - How a film about John Bishop even happened
16:25 - Bradley Cooper gets involved
18:45 - How true the film is to John’s real life
20:05 - John Bishop vs the England dressing room
24:10 - The art of winning a hostile crowd
26:40 - Growing up a Liverpool fan
30:15 - Sitting in the Anfield directors’ box
33:30 - The Liverpool song moment in the film
40:05 - Istanbul, missed finals and sliding doors
46:20 - Could John Bishop do stand-up for England again?
49:10 - Awkward goodbyes and junket chaos
51:40 - Butterfly effects and career-defining moments
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This podcast is part of the ACAST Creator Network. |
| 0:04.2 | Hello and welcome to that Peter Crutch podcast. |
| 0:06.5 | I'm due by Des and this is Chris Stark. |
| 0:09.0 | Yeah. |
| 0:09.4 | How are we? |
| 0:10.2 | Very good. |
| 0:10.8 | Yeah, no Sidwell here. |
| 0:12.3 | And also we're kind of in unfamiliar circumstances here today. |
| 0:16.9 | We're in a fancy hotel suite just ahead of a chat we're going to do with John Bishop today |
| 0:23.1 | we thought we'd get him on the podcast |
| 0:24.7 | Well it's a Hollywood movie is being made |
| 0:30.0 | or has been made based on his life |
| 0:31.9 | Written by Bradley Cooper |
| 0:33.5 | Which sounds pretty random |
| 0:35.9 | I mean to me that already sounds like a No offence to John it sounds like an FA Cup draw. It's like, we're going to do a story about John Bishop, written by Bradley Cooper starring dot, dot, dot, dot. It's amazing, isn't it? Anyway, like, we've wanted to get him on the podcast for a while, so this seemed like a good excuse to do it. Annoyingly, Steve Sidwell's on another one of his holidays. Oh, I mean, yeah. He's on more holidays than me, and he? He's taking piss now. But that's fine. But you're the original Dubai des. And just on that, can you talk about what happened in our WhatsApp group? Yeah, yeah. I just put something in this. This was great. It was amazing. And obviously, I'm going to reveal this, but I don't want him to get in any trouble. So I just want to put this cleaner in. This service is the service I want. Basically, my car went back, and I got a message from someone who was picking up the car and he says this is from the person |
| 1:28.9 | who's picking up my car obviously my number's been given over Dubai Dez it's so and so here |
| 1:35.2 | from the car team I'm looking to come collect your car late this afternoon I'll confirm an exact |
| 1:40.2 | ETA when I'm about an hour away but currently currently looking at 2 to 2.30, regards to the |
| 1:44.9 | family, and likewise, for one, ball and balls, I cids. |
| 1:51.1 | Now, I know some of you've been thinking, well, that's not very professional, but I'm going |
| 1:55.5 | to go the other way and say that is ultra, ultra professionalism. |
| 1:59.4 | He's tailored the service to my every need. And did I feel |
... |
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