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Okay. Wow. Thank you. Well, someone's been watching my shower cam.

Happy Monday, everyone.

So it's National Leave Work Early Day.

Cool.

Yep, later.

Yeah, if you do that here, tomorrow is never come back to work

day. A Pennsylvania man robbed a gas station and got away on rollerblades. Wow, even the

criminals are celebrating Pride Month. He's being described as armed, dangerous, and a huge fan of Bet Midler.

Congratulations to our own Mike Tobin, who climbed Mount Everest last week and planted a Fox News flag at the summit.

That's got to be a rage. Meanwhile, at CNN, Brian Stelter farted.

Bill Clinton was interviewed about Joe Biden and claimed Joe was, quote, always on top of his briefs.

Meanwhile, bills were never on.

When asked about his health, Bill Clinton said, you know, when you're older, you have to be more careful to stay hydrated.

I guess this is why he always urged women to swallow.

Thank you. I guess this is why he always urged women to swallow. I don't understand.

It's at least eight glasses of water.

On a recent episode of Jimmy Kimmel, Bono claims he helped stop the spread of AIDS,

mostly by convincing Charlie Sheen to stop dating.

Joy Behar said Democrats should spend money on teaching men not to be sexist.

Meanwhile, men say Democrats should spend money teaching Joy Behar

...