Identity After Kids: It's Not a Power Struggle You Can Co-Exist | After Hours With Amanda Ep. 24

After Hours With Amanda

Kids & Family, Parenting

5.0 • 697 Ratings

🗓️ 8 September 2021

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of After Hours With Amanda, I’m talking about the first day of school, mom guilt, motherhood, and why I do not think motherhood is just something happening to me. I think it is also something happening for me.

I share the note one of my girls left me, the poem that wrecked me, why I miss my tiny humans when they go back to school, and how motherhood has helped me become more myself instead of less.

This one is about coexisting, growing alongside our kids, letting go of mom-culture comparison, and remembering that they are having a hard time, not giving us one.

00:00 First Day Of School Feelings

00:50 Welcome To After Hours With Amanda

01:25 A Disclaimer For Moms

02:24 Encouragement Is Not Discouragement

03:47 The Mom Who Misses Her Kids

05:22 Lucy The Doll And The Paper Towel List

07:43 The Poem That Wrecked Me

09:03 Caterpillars, Butterflies, And Mom Life

11:45 Motherhood Is Not Happening To You

14:21 Bad Bitch Butterfly Energy

15:12 Feeding Yourself Better Thoughts

17:03 Are The Kids Really Stopping You?

19:12 They’re Having A Hard Time

21:09 Kids Are Not A Power Struggle

23:22 Letting My Kids Help Me Become

26:14 Missing Them Without Judging You

29:01 Stop Blaming The Tiny Humans

32:12 Functional Needs Versus Emotional Needs

36:29 Coexisting While We Both Grow

41:33 Encouragement And First Day Grief

42:29 My Mom’s Breakdown And Second Grade

45:31 Healing Through My Daughter’s First Day

47:27 What I Want You To Know

Transcript

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0:00.0	Okay, y'all, I didn't even do the intro on last week's episode. So we're going to start this off real professional.
0:08.1	You are going to have to have some grace with me today. I am currently, oh my gosh, I'm coping. I'm coping. And my
0:16.1	therapist would say, like, I'm trying, well, I dissociate. If you don't know what that is, it's when you like
0:20.9	remove yourself mentally from a situation. But it is the first day of school. And you know me,
0:26.7	I plan some podcast episodes ahead, but rarely do I ever plan podcast episodes ahead.
0:32.2	Because I want to speak from the heart to you. And speaking in the heart means me speaking in the moment.
0:38.8	Okay. And, oh, the intro. We didn't even do. Okay. Welcome to the after hours with Amanda
0:45.7	podcast. The podcast that's about parenting, but not just for parents. Okay. We'll try and keep it.
0:51.5	I mean, it's also about McDonald's Coke and the iced coffee that I'm
0:55.4	currently drowning my sorrows and thank God I have therapy tomorrow. Lord knows I will have a laundry
0:59.9	list of things to talk with her about since I haven't been in two weeks. She was on vacation.
1:04.9	We were getting ready for school. I don't take away the value of the therapy but if it's going to cause me
1:13.5	more stressed my therapist and i agree like carrie knows all right maybe we're just doing a phone
1:18.7	call maybe we're doing a text maybe we're doing a zoom maybe i've completely left the building
1:23.9	and i'll see you next week kind of thing but But it's the first day of school. And,
1:27.9	you know, it's hard because can I just be real with you for a moment? And first off, I want to
1:34.0	put a disclaimer. Massive disclaimer on this episode. I do not judge anybody's parenting.
1:39.3	I would not deign to believe in any world that I have any type of authority that says I'm right and you're wrong
1:46.0	in a variety of areas of life, but especially parenting because what works for me in my life
1:51.9	experience might not work for you because that's not how your experience was framed. Okay.
1:56.0	So let's just promise ourselves in this episode that we will not personally take on other people's
2:03.5	convictions or other people's needs or other people's non-needs, okay? We will not take away from
	...

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