and a very good morning to you one and all and welcome to another episode of who's tom and dick

we've had a wonderful week this week lovely spring weather the sun has been shining the temperatures have risen it's been absolutely

gorgeous here in the UK i'm not sure what is like in new york and america because they've

been suffering some pretty horrendous snowfalls but we're okay at the moment so we're looking

forward having said all that last week i spent six hours in&E. That's the first time I've been to A&E for a long, long time, and boy, was it drawn out. Six hours. I had a funny tummy for quite some time, and then I've had this pain in the right hand side, so I thought, I'm going to go get this checked out, so I run the doctor. The doctor was pretty useless. They suggested I went to A&E,

so I took their advice and off I trotted. 11 o'clock, roughly I got there, and I was seen in

at the reception, booked in, given a tag on my arm, they didn't lose me or they knew who I was.

First, after about 10 minutes I had a call and went in to see the nurse who then carried out a height measurement, a white measurement.

She also took some bloods and my blood pressure. The blood pressure

was all okay. No idea what the blood said, so I had to wait for that. I said to her, that's busy in

here today. She said, well, it is a Monday and Monday is our busiest day. Do, I thought. But anyway, she said the good news is, there's only a two-hour wait for the doctor today. I thought, ah, great. So off I trotted back into the waiting room. Well, two hours went by and suddenly I got a call, Mr. Mortimer, please. So off I trot it into the doctor's room and sat down on the couch.

And he said, what's the matter with you then?

And I said, well, I've got this upset stomach and this pain in my side.

He said, right, let me have a look.

And he done a few investigations, prods and pokes, coughs, taps and looked at me in a strange way. I don't know why.

And then he went on to say, well, I think it's digestion issues, constipation, maybe a bit of IBS,

irritable bowel syndrome for you folks out there that may not know what IBS is.

If you're young, you've got all this sort of thing to look forward to.

So he said, go and wait in the waiting room, and I'll see you again in a short while.

Hmm, I thought. About 20 minutes later, the nurse called me again.

She said, the doctor has asked me to do an ECG. All right, okay, fair enough. So off with the shirt and on with the magnetic

stickers, about nine of them in different parts of my body, chest, ribs, hips, ankles, and then the connection of all the wires.

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