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Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

I Want You to Watch (w/ Heidi N Closet)

Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Headgum & Nicole Byer

Love, Comedy Interviews, Advice, Interview, Encounters, Dating Apps, Podcast, Dating, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Stories, Relationships, Date, Sex, Comedy, Single, Therapy, Relationship, Nicole Byer, Tinder, Sexuality, Bumble, Hookups, Interviews, Couples, Romance, Raya, Hookup

4.916K Ratings

🗓️ 6 February 2026

⏱️ 63 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Drag queen icon Heidi N Closet (RuPaul's Drag Race S12, All Stars 8) is dressed up like Jesse from Pokemon to geek out over her favorite anime and spill on her beef with Nicki Minaj. Heidi opens up about the rules that keep her open relationship working and shares stories from her pre-fame jobs, including the time she cleaned literal shit at a gas station and the reason she got fired from a hospital. They also discuss her favorite sex move called "The Finisher" and her love of being watched, while Nicole shares the time she sat on a man's face for money.


Check out Heidi N Closet's YouTube channel: youtube.com/@HeidiNClosetOfficial


Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcast


Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:

» HelloFresh: Go to HelloFresh.com/dateme10fm to Get 10 free meals + a FREE Zwilling Knife (a $144.99 value) on your third box. *Offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan.

» Function: Own your health for $365 a yea. Learn more and join using my link. Visit functionhealth.com/DATEME and use gift code DATEME for a $25 credit toward your membership.

» Planned Parenthood: Donate to support Planned Parenthood now at plannedparenthood.org/defend.

» Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.

» NOCD: If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: learn.nocd.com/DATEME

» Betterhelp: This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/dateme today to get 10% off your first month.


Follow:

All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudateme

Tour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastaken

YouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcast

TikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod 

Instagram: @nicolebyer

X: @nicolebyer

Nicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on TwitterInstagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

All right, let's get real about dating anxiety for a second.

0:03.5

Have you ever been on a date that's going perfectly well, but then your brain just decides to sabotage you?

0:08.6

Suddenly, the spiral starts.

0:10.6

You're comparing them to an X or some random person on Hinge thinking, wait, is this guy really the guy for me?

0:17.6

I mean, we all have doubts.

0:19.5

But if these thoughts are constant and all-consuming,

0:22.4

you might have a relationship OCD. OCD isn't just the stereotype about being neat and organized.

0:29.6

It can actually latch on to the things you care about the most, including your love life.

0:34.1

It creates this never-ending loop of anxiety where you're constantly asking for

0:38.5

reassurance or analyzing every single interaction just to make yourself feel better. The good news is

0:44.7

that it's highly treatable, but regular talk therapy isn't always enough. You need a specialized

0:50.0

therapy called ERP or exposure and response prevention. And that is exactly what NoCD does.

0:56.7

NoCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment in live face-to-face virtual sessions.

1:02.7

A licensed therapist will teach you how to take the power back from those intrusive thoughts.

1:07.3

So they don't sabotage your relationships anymore. They're covered by insurance for over

1:11.8

155 million Americans, and they even provide support in between sessions so you're never alone.

1:18.1

So if you think you might be struggling with relationship OCD, don't wait. Visit nocd.com to book a

1:24.3

free call with their team. That's NOCD.com. We spend so much time on this show

1:31.4

trying to figure out how to take control of our dating lives. But it's terrifying to think

1:36.7

that there are people out there trying to take control of our actual bodies. Planned Parenthood

1:42.4

believes we should have access to care and the freedom to make

1:46.5

decisions about our health and futures. Whether you need STI testing and treatment, birth control,

...

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