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I'm one eleven Katie. Welcome to the program.

Hi, Dr. Laura. I am a second time caller. The first time I called you gave me some very blunt advice, but it has really, really helped me and it was in regards to my brothers now fiance.

So I thought something's been burning on my mind with regards to my mom. So I thought is blunt is it might be coming from you? I want your advice.

Excellent. Okay.

Okay. So I am one of five children and my parents live only about 15 minutes from me.

But I have a sister, the sister who is next after me, I guess you'd say. She is not married. Doesn't have any children. She was probably the last of the five kids to move out of the house.

And she has a job. She's making her own money. She finally moved out has a condo, but it's only about less than five minutes from my parents and they basically spend every single day together.

So she eats for meals over there with them and they have their relationship where I fall into it is that I feel like I do not have a separate relationship with my mom when I call her house.

I'm on speaker phone. My sister gives her input. There's there's just no individual relationship with my mom and I've called her out on this and just said, you know, I wish that we could have our own relationship.

And nothing really changes when the moment you said I would like us to have our own the moment you said that what was her response to you, the information at that point would be important.

She said that she knows that she spends too much time with my other sister and that it does affect her relationship with the other kids, but she said that she feels as though my sister needs her. She said, what am I supposed to do?

Just have her be on her own and be alone. She basically said she has to give her the attention because she feels like that's what she has to do with her mother is because she knows that my sister doesn't have anyone else really in her life.

And when you said, don't you think she should take the sister should take the time to actually make friends? Did you say that?

Yes, and her response is, how can I make her want that?

Has it also dawned on you that your mother likes to do this?

She likes to be with my sister.

She likes feeling motherly. She likes the company. It's simple and easy.

The rest of you would be more complicated. This way she doesn't have to deal really with any of you.

I think your mother's perfectly content. I would guess your mother is perfectly content.

True. Because even like the rest of us have sometimes tried to set my other sister up with somebody that we know is single and maybe a good match.

She doesn't want to get married. She doesn't want to have a life. She's comfortable with mom and mom is comfortable to feel needed.

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