This is a set of instructions for how to speak with the devil, which as those of you with

any sort of brains at all might note, is a patently moronic proposition on the face of it.

One likely to culminate in any number of thoroughly unpleasant fates.

Honestly, it would probably be smarter to publish your credit card number on Facebook

or take up a career in crocodile wrestling.

But then, that isn't going to stop you, is it?

Not if you're sincerely interested, at least.

Technically, if you do everything just right, then there's a fair chance you'll walk away,

Scott free.

And that seems to be reason enough for some people to decide that it's a good idea, especially

if you're the fate-tempting, thrill-seeking, scare-junky type, or the desperate type.

Which brings me to a point of clarification I ought to make.

This is not a manual for making any kind of Faustian bargain.

You know, the whole sell your soul type of deal.

Although, if you happen to bring it up in conversation, he certainly wouldn't be one to refuse.

Following through with such a foolhardy bargain, however, would

necessitate removing some of the protections which you will put in place for your conversation,

and I don't think I need to spell out for you why that is a bad idea. If you're really

mathematically impaired enough to want to trade something that will last an infinite number

of years for something that might last 90 tops, there are plenty of other rituals out there

for you to follow. This one, if performed correctly, should only allow the two of you to talk.

This perhaps begs the question of why exactly you would want to speak with the devil in the first place.

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