I Thought Boundaries Were Selfish with Bianca Olthoff

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

AccessMore

Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Talk Radio, Default

4.8 • 808 Ratings

🗓️ 30 December 2025

⏱️ 51 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We’re spending the last few weeks of 2025 reviewing our TOP 5 MOST DOWNLOADED episodes! Why do so many Christians struggle with boundaries? We are taught that boundaries are wrong, sinful, or selfish — and that we should always say YES and be ready to sacrifice and serve at a moment’s notice. But is this really the way of Jesus? Or could this lead us down a path of emotional burnout, codependency, and unhealthy relationships? Today, we have an on-air counseling session with my friend, Bianca Olthoff. Bianca has been on the podcast before, processing pain from the past (listen here if you missed it!) but today we dive into the topic of BOUNDARIES and learning to protect your heart and calling. Bianca shares how she lived so many years with low to no boundaries, and the damage that caused in her life and in her relationships. We talk about her childhood, and how the concept of low boundaries began to take root in her life…and followed her into adulthood. If boundaries have been a weakness for you, you HAVE TO make time to listen to this episode from start to finish! Setting healthy boundaries is the Jesus way. Find out how! Extras: Soul Care: Order Soul Care Today! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This has been one of the hardest seasons of my life, but this idea intended of protect has never been more real, more profound, more 3D, 4D.
0:15.0	It's like scratch and sniff because I realize the danger of even using and believing scripture as like enduring and persevering
0:25.6	when something is hurting you. Yeah. And so my boundaries were set really low. And I am at the place
0:33.8	of my life where I could, I want to love everyone.
0:39.7	I want to love even those who have hurt me.
0:41.0	There's a string of people.
0:44.2	The more that I'm in leadership, the more than I'm in ministry, the string gets longer.
0:46.7	The line gets longer of people that have hurt me.
0:52.4	But at the same time, I am learning that two truths could coexist, that I could love somebody while also setting a boundary to protect
0:55.2	myself.
1:02.4	Are you ready to talk to me? My name is Deborah Felata and I'm a licensed professional
1:07.6	counselor, national speaker, and author. Through my blog, books, and podcast,
1:13.0	I have the privilege of helping millions of people get healthy mentally, emotionally,
1:18.0	spiritually, and relationally. The purpose of this podcast is to have on-air, authentic,
1:24.4	counseling-style sessions where we talk about how people are really doing and give my
1:29.9	guests and callers an opportunity to talk to me as a licensed professional counselor.
1:35.5	Each of these episodes is meant to show you that we are all on the journey of healing,
1:40.8	mentally, emotionally, spiritually and and relationally, together.
1:46.2	None of us are immune to the challenges and struggles of life, but we don't have to walk this
1:52.7	path alone.
1:54.3	I'm so proud and honored to be having these conversations with men and women who are courageously
2:00.2	paving the way for open and honest
	...

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