Three minutes off to 10. Good morning. I just have some days, eh? Honestly, did you know that the major rolling news channels on the telly, which you probably haven't noticed because you're too busy waiting for me to start blathering, are currently both leading on the fact that a television presenter has gone back to work this morning and has read out a statement which is breaking news.

The BBC just crossed live to ITV

to find out what the television presenter was saying

on her first day back at work since her colleague resigned

in disgrace.

I don't know anymore.

Do you anybody?

I was going to open this morning by saying it's quite a slow

news day. And by that, I simply mean that there is no overarching story that demands our attention,

like there is on many mornings. The COVID inquiry shenanigans have moved on a little bit.

The cabinet office is reportedly threatening to remove the money that Boris Johnson is taking off

the taxpayer to pay for his legal advice if he carries on causing problems for them in the media.

I said to you on Friday, be very careful on the language with Boris Johnson.

You report that he is handing over all of his WhatsApp.

Much wiser, I think, to report that he says he is handing over all of

his WhatsApp. And then the distinct whiff of fish that should accompany his every pronouncement

becomes a little harder to ignore. So that's around. I know that we live in a state of constant

climate crisis and various other issues, but I just don't know anymore.

I mean, I couldn't get the story to sing for love nor money.

I'm quite good at this gig.

But no, I can't do another conversation about why on earth has this story about a program

that's often watched by fewer people than

...