Lemonnotta.

I hated my 20s.

So hard, so much.

I can't believe that now at 31 I'm saying, you know what I miss? My

20s and yet here we are.

Here we are. I hated my 20s, okay? Hated those motherfockers. They sucked ass so hard. Like, I just could not believe how bad my 20s were. It felt like I'd get hit by a truck and then I'd like be getting up

just like brushing myself off getting up and then I'd be hit by another truck.

My mom died when I was 21 just like straight out set that decade on fire right off the bat.

My beloved dog Fred died. My grandfather died, like just profound personal losses on top of I was dropped by my agency once I had told them that I was quitting acting which really just

showed how much they believed in me as a as the writer I was trying to become.

I also I spent half my 20s drunk off my ass pukin ten times a day in friendships that had expired.

It was just shit on shit on shit.

All while I'm hearing that it's supposed to be my best years. All while I'm hearing, oh God, those are the, those are, you know, the fun ones, those are your best years. God, what I would give to be in my 20s, the things that people say. Nobody was out here going like hey your 20s suck

ass so brace yourself nobody was going hey you're going to be so lost and

confused only to be more lost and confused six months from now and wonder when it gets better and then

surprise it doesn't. Until 26 then I think that was for me when I started

kind of like finding a groove. 25 I started finding a groove and then progressively the year started getting better but like especially that first half of the decade was

fucking awful and then every year after 25 even though things were on an incline I couldn't quite see that they were on an incline because

It felt like a ticking time bomb I felt like I got to get this shit figured out before 30 like 30 was the was the red flag finish line for me of like I had to have my whole life

sorted before then or I thought I was a loser. So now that I find myself going I'm I miss them. I'm I'm also wondering like is it really my

20s that what I say really so word is it really? So fucking weird. Is it really? Sounds so fucking weird.

Is it really the 20s that I miss, my 20s, or is it something?

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