“I MAY GET DEPORTED”

Therapy Gecko

iHeartPodcasts

Society & Culture, Philosophy, Comedy Interviews, Comedy

4.9 • 951 Ratings

🗓️ 14 February 2024

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

An undocumented immigrant with a pending court date calls in seeking advice regarding a drug charge that could result in deportation. Later a woman from Germany speaks on having facial hair induced by a medical condition, and a final caller meditates on whether or not he’s a sex addict. Roll a 9 or higher to have a good day. I am a gecko.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello?
0:03.0	Hello? Hey.
0:04.0	What's your name, dog?
0:06.0	I'm Joey.
0:07.0	Joey.
0:08.0	Joey.
0:09.0	What's going on man?
0:10.0	What's going on man?
0:11.0	What do you want to talk about today?
0:12.0	Man, what isn't going on, man. What do you want to talk about today? Man, what isn't going on?
0:14.0	So, I have a pretty serious issue.
0:20.0	So about two weeks ago I was going to a vacation, to Portland.
0:27.0	And on the way up to Portland from the Bay Area, California, I got pulled over.
0:35.0	We're going 80 on 70.
0:40.0	And the cop pulled me over. He said, I like nervous. He wanted to search my car,
0:49.3	I didn't let him search my car. And he brought a canine unit so they searched my car anyways and they
0:58.6	found a little bit of cocaine on me actually it, it's not all they found. I had mushrooms, I had
1:07.0	a MDMA, I had LSC, I had ketamine, and I had some cocaine.
1:12.0	And, um... I had a kedamine and I had some cocaine and I thought I was going to go to jail but they actually let me go.
1:25.0	So what's the problem? Well, so the problem is now I have to go to court.
1:31.0	I have to go to court and I have to figure out how I'm going to tell my parents that I got a possession of cocaine charge on my record.
1:47.0	Oh, okay, see when you said when you said they didn't take it to jail I thought I'm
	...

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