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Bianca welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. It's an honor to speak to you. Thank you. What can I do for you. I am having a difficult time with my mom.

I'm 25 years old and I had a baby last year. She's almost one and since then. Do you have a husband really started to. Yes, so we've been married three years. He's 29.

Nice to mention. Do you live in your mother's house? No, we don't. We have a house separate from her. And how far away from her?

30 minutes. Nice. Okay. So what is the problem you're having with your mother? You've got a husband, a kid, your own house. You live 30 minutes away. How can she be a problem?

It's it's me that's the problem because I fall into. I don't know if submitting like a child that would be the correct way to put that, but I. So you betray your vows to your husband.

To make sure your mommy approves of you. So you betray your man who's taking care of you, providing, protecting, helps you make a human being. And you're betraying him so that your mommy won't be mad at you.

Yeah, you breached your vows every day.

I didn't feel like that, but you're you're right. We're not talking with me. Yes, and you don't care about that. You care less that your husband is pleased with you.

You care more that your mother is pleased with you. This man has laid down his life to be with you. And you spit on that so you can get teary over mommy. Wow.

He didn't end up with a good part of this bargain. Yeah. Yeah. I think I agree with that. I believe I agree with that.

This is what I suggest you do. And if you don't do this, I don't that sounds arrogant. I don't mean it to sound arrogant, but I really believe if you don't do what I'm going to tell you to do right now that the duration of your marriage is going to be limited. He's going to get fed up someday.

Yeah, because he didn't marry a woman. He married her little girl. And that's going to get on. Yeah.

Okay. And then he'll get a girlfriend. All right. Even if he doesn't leave you, he'll have somebody else who puts him first. So I would like you when you hang up, which is going to happen very shortly.

You're going to call your mother up no matter where she is and what she's doing and say, I'm not going to talk to you for a month.

The reason I'm not going to talk to you for a month is I appear I realize now I know that I spend more of my time in emotion worried about if you're okay with me, then the man I took vows with who has laid down his life for me.

So I'm going to go cold turkey for a month and get used to pleasing the man I took vows with and not worrying about your feelings.

If you don't do this in the next hour, I don't have much good to say about your future marriage.

Yeah.

No, that's good. That's big.

And you'll get better anniversary presence from your man.

Well, they're already so great. I can't imagine them getting better.

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