You don't start out shooting snuff. You build up to it. To be honest, I never thought I'd let it get that far. And I wish I never did.

I started out wanting to be a legit filmmaker, but that's a hard business to break into

when you don't know the right people. Living on your own is expensive and it gets humiliating to ask your parents to help covering your rent after the second time.

My mom was always more than happy to help, but it wasn't like my parents were loaded and I hated being a leech.

Eating nothing but ramen noodles and cheap mac and cheese is its own kind of misery.

Not to mention being unable to go out and do anything with friends.

I mean I survived but I was miserable. So when a chance to film a porno came up I jumped at the chance I told myself it would just be this once

Just this once turn into one more time then this would be the last time and before I knew it I started getting deeper and deeper into the

taboo like 50 shades of grey looked vanilla compared to some of the BDSM I was behind the camera

for I knew I was getting out of the BDSM I was behind the camera for.

I knew I was getting out of the realm of legal when I filmed a girl cutting open her arm

and licking up the blood.

I don't know what she was on, but she had to be on something to do all this or smiling and giggling.

But that check felt so damn good, so I kept my mouth shut.

I was finally in the black. I told myself no one made to do those things.

So what was the harm in it? Then one day I was approached with a once in a lifetime deal.

I normally worked with my guy Charlie.

He got all the hookups for the weird stuff.

One day Charlie came over with this other guy. all the hookups for the weird stuff.

One day, Charlie came over with this other guy I'd never met before who introduced himself

as Noel.

Noel doesn't look how you're probably picturing someone in this scene. He was about 5 foot 6 and balding on top.

...