I'm Losing Control Over My Son

Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM

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4.4 • 6K Ratings

🗓️ 27 October 2023

⏱️ 4 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Divorced dad, Chad, fears losing influence over his 11-year-old son now that they're together only half time. Email questions or comments: [email protected] - Participate on the radio program: call 1-800-Dr-Laura / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment https://www.drlaura.com/make-an-appointment.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern time on Sirius XM.
0:10.0	Triumph 111. Chad, welcome to the program.
0:14.0	Hi, Dr. Dora. How are you doing? Good. What can I do for you?
0:20.0	Yes, ma'am. I have an 11 year old son who's just started middle school and I have him half of the time a week at a time.
0:28.0	I split custody with his mother and there have been some issues. First of all, he has a smartphone, which I know is probably not advisable.
0:36.0	There were some limitations that we had put in place for that, but I have been honestly a little lax on that since he started school.
0:46.0	And I'm just looking for some guidance on how to kind of reel him back in and what kind of hard boundaries or guidelines to set.
0:57.0	You're divorced. Kid has two worlds he has to deal with. And you want to do psycho babble boundaries like he's cattle.
1:07.0	He has to deal with two people, two separate lives. Doesn't have a homie visits. What do you want from him?
1:16.0	You guys made vows until death do us part, ma'am, sir, ma'am. You guys did vows of till death do us part. Wasn't that a boundary?
1:29.0	Yes.
1:30.0	Yeah, he watched two adults blow up his world.
1:35.0	And then expect him to follow all the rules. I'm always amused when parents actually think that's going to work.
1:43.0	So if you want to put limits on a phone, good luck. Good luck.
1:50.0	Good luck.
1:52.0	I have no advice on how to do that. Anything else you want to put limits on?
2:01.0	No, just one last question if I can. Yeah, of course.
2:11.0	When I discussed, you know, some of these limitations and what he should or should not be doing on the smartphone.
2:18.0	His response is I'm increasing his anxiety and he's just going to go stay with his mother and that he just doesn't trust me.
2:27.0	Is there anything smart? Sir, you are screwed because you divorced and you got him a smartphone.
2:39.0	And he manipulates because he got he has two places to go. You piss him off. He goes to mom mom piss him off. He goes to you.
2:47.0	He's figured out how to play the game.
	...

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