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Threedom

I'm Bald as a Pool Cue

Threedom

Scott Aukerman, Lauren Lapkus, Paul F Tompkins

Comedy

4.83.2K Ratings

🗓️ 17 July 2025

⏱️ 81 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Paul, Scott, and Lauren discuss store credit cards, kids singing, and animal urine before playing Crazy Pet Return.

Send Threetures and emails to [email protected].
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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Want to listen to your favorite Lemonada shows without the ads? Subscribe to Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts.

0:07.7

You'll get ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content from shows like Wiser Than Me with

0:12.1

Julia Louis Dreyfus, Fail Better with David DeCovny, the Sarah Silverman podcast, and so many more.

0:18.1

It's a great way to support the work we do and treat yourself to a smoother, uninterrupted listening experience. Just head to any Lemonada show feed on Apple Podcasts and hit subscribe. Make life suck less with fewer ads, with Lemonada Premium. Freedom! What is that? What's what? What is that? How you just did that? I feel like when I yell at it, it's not as clear. Okay, let's see. Freedom! Okay, interesting. You heard what I said, though. I did. I didn't hear what I said. Freedom. Oh, freedom! What did I say? What did I say? What did I say? That's what I said. I'm she. For these purposes. She is I. I'm a character named she. And everything I say is fucking disgusting. If there can be a her, why can't there be a she? Honestly, that should be a comedy bang man character. She. And it's always, that's what she said. It's like everything she said.

1:11.1

All right. You can do the next episode. Okay, okay, okay. Here I go.

1:16.1

And who better to embody this disgusting woman?

1:22.2

Put that in the hole.

1:24.9

That's what she said. That's all it is, folks. Put that in the whole it is folks hi everyone welcome back to three

1:31.1

thank you man i appreciate it i'm paul yes i'm lauren i'm scott and we haven't uh i know there

1:37.6

was an episode last week but we haven't recorded one in person uh for over a month is a dog's age I believe so. Wow, crazy. You were out of town. I was out of town. A long trip. Yeah. And you were also touring a bit as well. I know. No, I was working in a television program. Oh. Yes. Yes. 60 minutes?

2:01.6

Must be nice. Yeah, 60 minutes. You were the, you're being the clock? They let me wind the clock. Okay. Yeah. It's big, by the way. Oh, is it sort of like the Hutsucker proxy that giant? Yeah, I have to climb up on a step ladder and use both hands to like turn the top of it. they're just right, because it's very tight.

1:58.3

They really, Leslie Stahl has to walk in top of it. They're just right, because it's very tight.

2:18.1

They really, Leslie Stahl has to walk in front of it just to give us perspective. The camera is back, is so far away from it to get all of it in a frame. It's like Mount Rushmore looks so small. And then when you actually get there, it's two times the size you think of it is. Have you been there? been. I've, I investigated it at one point and then I heard, it's kind of boring. Where is it? Yeah. North Dakota or something. How much better is it going to be than a picture? I don't know. You said Vermas at North Dakota. Where do you think it is? I don't know where it is. Isn't it in Tennessee? No. I believe it is in one of the Dakotas, right?

2:36.1

Oh, I do. You think it is? Isn't it in Tennessee?

2:51.3

No. I believe it is in one of the Dakotas, right?

2:54.5

Oh, I know.

2:55.0

South Dakota.

2:55.8

Where is Mount Rushmore located, Siri?

2:59.6

You have to talk to her that way.

3:00.9

South Dakota.

3:01.7

Okay, it wasn't so crazy with that.

3:03.4

It wasn't so crazy with that.

...

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