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When Ben died, he made very little noise.

It was the computers that alerted me.

Shrill alarms and flashing lights. I hadn't even gotten out of my sleeping bag before my

smart watch had lit up with half a dozen messages about system failures.

Astronaut 1. Heart rate monitor failure. Astronaut 1, heart rate monitor failure.

Astronaut 1, skin conductance monitor failure.

Astronaut 1, V.O.2 monitor failure.

The situation didn't sink in until I was shaking an unresponsive Ben.

White eyes rolling back into his skull, blood pooling in his ears like red jelly, viscosity, mass, no gravity.

It made me nauseous to look at.

H.Q would later say Ben died from an aneurysm, one in a million, a freak death that just happened to occur in low-Earth orbit.

So what now? I asked after all the panic had died down and the reality of my situation finally settled in.

...