It'd be wrong to say I don't like kids, its adults I have more of a problem with.

In my last school, when I called one of the 10 year old boys in my class a little asshole,

he wasn't the problem.

His parents are the ones who insisted I get fired, but that boy didn't mind me swearing

at him because he knew damn well he'd keyed my car, even if I had no proof.

He just thought it was funny, no different to the sort of interaction he'd have with

an older sibling.

On that note, I wouldn't say I like children either.

Kids are little adults, they're more truthful, but only because the stakes are lower.

People with jobs and mortgages tell great big tremendous lies.

Kids don't have the weight of the world in their shoulders, so why lie about mistresses

and promotions and why you've been crushing up antibiotics into your wife's morning

smoothie?

Instead, they just lie about where their homework is.

The kids I teach are right on the cusp of it.

Some of the boys might get caught giggling at the back or showing each other naughty little

videos they don't understand but can't look away from.

But then they go out and chase each other around, do cartwheels, play tag, hide and seek.

Right if they take a particularly bad knock.

Kids are weird.

Got one whose dad is in jail and he talks about it like it means nothing.

His old man tried to kick a woman to death in the parking lot of a bar and won't be out

...