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Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

“I Love You... But I Don’t Like You”: Frustrating Relationships, and How to Deal | E466

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7890 Ratings

🗓️ 18 August 2025

⏱️ 40 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Have you ever looked at your partner and thought, “I love you… but right now, I really don’t like you”? It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. It simply means you’re human. In this episode, we’re getting real about what happens when the warm fuzzies fade and the little things like how they breathe, chew, or leave their glass next to the sink suddenly feel huge. Can you love someone and not like them? Absolutely. But how you handle those moments will decide whether they pull you apart or bring you closer. I’ll walk you through how to tell the difference between harmless quirks, patterns that need attention, and true deal breakers. You’ll learn why 70% of relationship conflicts are about unchangeable differences, how emotional disconnection can make every annoyance feel bigger, and what it actually takes to shift from criticism to curiosity. We’ll talk about building the emotional intelligence skills that help you stay grounded, see each other’s perspective, and communicate in a way that leads to connection instead of a fight. Episode Breakdown 00:00 The Myth of Effortless Relationships 03:07 Dr. John Gottman’s Research on Conflict & Compatibility 05:47 Turning Friction Points Into Opportunities for Relationship Growth 07:10 Daily Annoyances vs. Deal Breakers: A Clarity Exercise 10:35 How Positive Connection Reduces Relationship Frustration 14:22 The Emotional Intelligence Skills That Lead To Better Relationships 22:03 Understanding Your Partner’s Perspective with Empathy 24:45 Effective Communication Strategies That Actually Work 31:00 Discernment Counseling: Is This Relationship Fixable? You can have a great relationship with someone who occasionally drives you up the wall, and this episode shows you how. If you’re ready to stop spinning in communication loops and finally feel heard without starting a fight, check out my free Communication that Connects 2-Part Training. It gives you the exact skills and tools to handle these moments differently, plus a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my free How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear snapshot of what’s working, what’s not, and where you can start building a more connected partnership today. And if this episode struck a chord, let’s stay in touch. I’m always sharing more tips and resources on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube to help you turn those little friction points into deeper connection. I also want to hear from you. Your feedback, your questions about past episodes, and the topics you’d love me to cover next are always welcome. Let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Transcript

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0:00.0

There's this myth in our culture that it shouldn't feel hard sometimes in a relationship.

0:07.1

And so that's not true. All couples have conflict. There are friction points in every single relationship.

0:18.9

The presence of those does not mean that you have a bad

0:22.9

relationship. The goal here is not to be in a constant state of bliss. It's really

0:28.4

about learning how to work through those moments when it does feel more

0:33.4

challenging so that you can reconnect and come out stronger on the other side.

0:41.3

I'm your host, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby. I am duly licensed as a psychologist, and I'm also a licensed

0:49.5

marriage and family therapist. In addition to being a therapist, I am a very proud board certified coach.

0:57.2

I practice evidence-based coaching psychology in addition to psychotherapy. So I think that there is this

1:04.7

myth in our culture that if you are having problems in your relationship, it means that you're with

1:10.4

the wrong person or that you are having problems in your relationship, it means that you're with the wrong person

1:11.6

or that you are not fully compatible, right? And that there is this, that's the way things are

1:18.5

always going to be kind of mentality so that, you know, you need to get out of here. Versus a counterpoint,

1:24.6

which is, you know, people change and grow and evolve people work on themselves

1:29.8

and when they do particularly in service of their relationships things can feel pretty different

1:36.3

particularly if it's a relationship that people feel committed to and and have a desire to have it

1:43.2

be better.

1:50.3

I will also say that people are who they are and there are limits in terms of how much people can change, but that people can always grow into, I think, better and healthier

1:59.1

versions of themselves and certainly acquire relationship competencies,

2:06.3

skills, abilities that we don't just naturally, like, have. We need to develop these things

2:15.3

in ourselves over time if we want to have good relationships with

2:19.2

anyone. So that I just wanted to be real transparent is the framework that I'm coming into

...

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