Music

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Marjorie Martinez. I'm Adam. Here's Danielle. Hi. I want to start off by saying we went to Woodlock last week, last weekend. Just for two nights, we were there for like a day and a half. Right. I think this is kind of a perfect setup for this episode about therapy. And I'll get into it later. I'm not going to like go crazy with it right now. I had such an amazing time. It was the first time that we were all away as a family in what three years maybe. And it was just two

nights. So it's like when I say we were away. It was a tease. It was such a tease. You know, but it relates to this episode in such a tremendous way, really. And we'll get to that. But I just wanted to say it was just so awesome. Just to be away and just the five of us to be alone. No, you know, can I call a friend? Can I do whatever? Let's do this. Let's make a plan. Like it was no. We're all here. We're contained. There's activities. We're going to do them. We were all together. And I,

I just enjoyed myself more than I can remember in such a long time. Yeah. We needed it. It would lock as a resort in the polka nose, by the way. Oh, right. Sorry. Yeah. I didn't say that. But we totally needed it. And it was really wonderful. And it was too short. But, um, but yeah, the idea of us, the five of us being away. I mean, this was the first time we hadn't been in our house altogether. I can't remember when. Right. It was five of us not contained in a house where there was options.

We were like, oh, really? Like, but the kids and whatever. And it was almost like we were away. And I was almost like, oh, right. I have a family. And I enjoy spending time with them. Right. Yeah. And I forgot. Mm-hmm. Sorry. Yeah. We were coming off of a, we were coming off of a really hard time. We did the episode, the contentious episode where we had been fighting a lot. And we had, we did an episode last no two weeks ago. When we were in the midst of this,

it was really awful time we were dealing with stuff with the kids and stuff with the two of us. And we released this episode where I just felt like the vibe was so off. And I, I don't know, my head was not in it. I was all over the place. And I think we were dealing with, with the fighting between us. But it wasn't like a fighting episode. It was supposed to be like a lighthearted episode. And I just couldn't fit the vibe. Although you totally did. You were really good. And I, and I was just like, you know,

what, I can't, I can't put this out there. What, which episode was this? We did like it. And the winner is for a while. Yeah, because I don't feel like I was good at all. Like I, like you said to me, you felt like you were too harsh. And when I listened, I felt like I was too harsh. Oh, that's interesting. And it was just not the right. Like it was such a great episode that could have been. And I want to do it again. Right. That's why we took it down. And I want to do it again. I really do. Because it, it, it could have been so much fun.

Yeah. We were just not at the right place. No, it was just a horrible couple of weeks all around. Like really, really hard. But I wanted to say, you know, we were fighting about house stuff and, you know, the mental load and everything like that. And the last couple of weeks have really been amazing. Oh, really? Because you haven't said that to me. They've been really, really great. They, I mean, I feel like you, you, something clicked. And I, you know, I don't know what'll happen in, you know, a month or six months. How long is it going to last? No, no, yeah. I don't even say that. But yeah, that's kind of how I feel.

But in the meantime, that's why it's so important to talk about these things is that I don't know what it was that finally clicked for you about the fact that I was just drowning. But you definitely stepped up and like everything has kind of been different for the past few weeks. Do you like know what it was that? Yeah, I totally do it because I've been thinking about it a lot. And, you know, we had before we released that episode and got rid of it and everything. We had a big talk.

You made me understand what was bothering you and what this fight was all about, how it happened. And, you know, I was just so caught up in the monotony of like our lives and what we were doing and not realizing, you know, like I said, like I just said before, like I have a family and like, oh, yeah, they're fun to be with too, but there are responsibilities too. Like all that stuff. Like I was just solely as focused on, you know, work and how our regular regular lives are and what we usually do. And,

and it just became, you know, I guess mainstream in my mind, I like this is how we're chugging along. This is our lives. This is the way it is. And we're just going as we go, but there were too many big things in the way too many hurdles that I wasn't even realizing how important they were and what was happening.

And this, first of all, our talk, you made me realize, you know, first is, oh, yeah, this shit is going on. This is more than our mainstream stuff. Like we need to

like, I need to be present for this stuff. Like I get it. I understood. Like for the first time we had an argument, but then I realized, oh, shit. Yeah.

Like I get it. I really do. And then this woodlock getaway was like, oh, and I enjoy, you know, I enjoy us. And I forgot how to have fun with my family.

Yeah. Everything has been so hard and such a struggle and we've been problem solving constantly. And that's another thing we're going to get to also

that we'll elaborate on too as we go through this. Okay. Yeah. So as quickly as I went through all your questions, they were actually well thought out. I think I hope I hope.

So let's go. Yeah. Well, we're the episode is about therapy because for a long time, people have been asking us to do an episode about this. I think especially from the fact of

we've spoken about before that I've been in therapy for a really long time. Often on, there have definitely been periods of my life where I probably should have been in therapy, but I wasn't.

And I think that you for a long time, just like many, many partners, especially male partners, were extremely opposed to the idea of therapy, either by yourself or as a couple, you just wouldn't do it. And they do say, I don't know who the day is, but I do know that it is a thing that

it takes around six years to convince a person who does not want to go to therapy to go. So the earlier that conversation starts the better. So all right. So what's the

it takes six years to convince somebody to go to therapy. So what's the deviation there? If you're male versus female or

you know, whatever else, is it longer for men? Because I know one of the questions down the list that you asked me is, why do you think that men in general have such a hard time

...