I Haven't Forgiven My Son-in-Law

Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM

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4.4 • 6K Ratings

🗓️ 20 October 2023

⏱️ 6 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Donna's daughter is trying to rebuild her marriage with her recovering alcoholic husband, but Donna isn't sure she's ready to face her son-in-law. Email questions or comments: [email protected] - Participate on the radio program: call 1-800-Dr-Laura / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment https://www.drlaura.com/make-an-appointment.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern time on Sirius XM Triumph 111.
0:11.0	Donna, welcome to the program.
0:14.0	Hi, thanks for taking my call.
0:17.0	Thank you. What can I do for you?
0:21.0	I want to meet with my daughter and husband's counselor before I welcome my son-in-law back into my house.
0:32.0	Sounds good. Is there a problem with getting together with their therapist? Is there a problem getting together with their therapist?
0:40.0	No, we have it. My husband, when he gets back into town, we're going to meet. I guess my dilemma is am I going to get anything out of it?
0:51.0	Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, you can't go in like that.
0:58.0	There are no guarantees. There are four people in that room and a therapist.
1:04.0	You can't guarantee how all of them are going to react, handle the situation, function, so you can't go in sort of even negative or positive.
1:15.0	You have to go in and just do your best to explain yourself and seem like you're willing to hear their side.
1:23.0	People are much more agreeable to listen to you when they think you're really listening to them.
1:28.0	So a piece of advice in that therapy session is don't go in with an attack because I guarantee you you will get nothing out of it.
1:38.0	So when you listen to them and then you say I see you have some, when you listen to them, then you say I see you have some interesting points.
1:48.0	My concern is give them something.
1:53.0	I can see why you think that way. Let me ask you this.
2:00.0	So if you approach it that way with first giving them a piece of sugar, you're more likely to get a piece of sugar back, more likely.
2:11.0	But that's an approach that most people don't use when they go into this sort of counseling session trying to deal with familiar problems, whatever they are.
2:21.0	They mostly are on opposite sides and opposite sides rarely get anybody changing their mind or giving forth a olive branch.
2:31.0	So you have to walk in there prepared to try to give them something in understanding or agreement that gets you more.
2:43.0	If you go in there, this is, this is, this is, you're dead.
2:48.0	Right.
	...

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