Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern time on Sirius XM Triumph 111.

Donna, welcome to the program.

Hi, thanks for taking my call.

Thank you. What can I do for you?

I want to meet with my daughter and husband's counselor before I welcome my son-in-law back into my house.

Sounds good. Is there a problem with getting together with their therapist? Is there a problem getting together with their therapist?

No, we have it. My husband, when he gets back into town, we're going to meet. I guess my dilemma is am I going to get anything out of it?

Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, you can't go in like that.

There are no guarantees. There are four people in that room and a therapist.

You can't guarantee how all of them are going to react, handle the situation, function, so you can't go in sort of even negative or positive.

You have to go in and just do your best to explain yourself and seem like you're willing to hear their side.

People are much more agreeable to listen to you when they think you're really listening to them.

So a piece of advice in that therapy session is don't go in with an attack because I guarantee you you will get nothing out of it.

So when you listen to them and then you say I see you have some, when you listen to them, then you say I see you have some interesting points.

My concern is give them something.

I can see why you think that way. Let me ask you this.

So if you approach it that way with first giving them a piece of sugar, you're more likely to get a piece of sugar back, more likely.

But that's an approach that most people don't use when they go into this sort of counseling session trying to deal with familiar problems, whatever they are.

They mostly are on opposite sides and opposite sides rarely get anybody changing their mind or giving forth a olive branch.

So you have to walk in there prepared to try to give them something in understanding or agreement that gets you more.

If you go in there, this is, this is, this is, you're dead.

Right.

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