meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Double Threat with Julie Klausner & Tom Scharpling

I Have a Lot of Band-Aids on My Hands (with Emily Altman)

Double Threat with Julie Klausner & Tom Scharpling

Forever Dog

Comedy

4.81.5K Ratings

🗓️ 4 December 2023

⏱️ 88 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Writer/Comedian Emily Altman (author of the self-help parody How To Be Sane) joins Tom and Julie to watch clips of self-help influencers. What SHOULD you be doing between the hours of 4am-8am to maximize your potential? Need a good joke to kick off your megachurch sermon? This is the episode for you! Plus Tom and Julie revisit one of the great advertising campaigns of our time - the Coors Light "And Twins" commercial. Also Red Hot Chili Peppers, that poster of Einstein sticking his tongue out, Jim Breuer's new comedy special, Andrew Dice Clay's Instagram videos, Elon Musk's bomber jacket, and more! CLIPS FROM THIS EPISODE: *Keith Krohn's Morning Regimen *Joel Osteen Jokes Collection SUPPORT DOUBLE THREAT ON PATREON Weekly Bonus Episodes, Monthly Livestreams, Video Episodes, and More! https://www.patreon.com/DoubleThreatPod WATCH VIDEO CLIPS OF DOUBLE THREAT https://www.youtube.com/@doublethreatpod JOIN THE DOUBLE THREAT FAN GROUPS *Discord https://discord.com/invite/PrcwsbuaJx *Reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/doublethreatfriends *Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/doublethreatfriends DOUBLE THREAT MERCH https://www.teepublic.com/stores/double-threat TOTALLY EFFED UP T-SHIRTS https://www.teepublic.com/user/dttfu SEND SUBMISSIONS TO [email protected] FOLLOW DOUBLE THREAT https://twitter.com/doublethreatpod https://www.instagram.com/doublethreatpod DOUBLE THREAT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/double-threat Theme song by Mike Krol Artwork by Michael Kupperman Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Forever. law. Now what's that over there? What? Is it Brett?

0:15.0

Oh, it's a multi-car accident.

0:17.0

Brett, I think this is the earliest you've ever spoken and probably in the most morbid and like aggressive way and I and I and we love

0:30.6

You yeah a hundred percent we couldn't love your father and I both love you very much. That's great to hear.

0:36.3

But. You're allowed a hundred words an episode. THR E-E-A-T. Double G-P-T-T-T-T-T-B-B-T-B-B-T-B-B-T-B-B-L-L-Lay-E-T. Double-K-L-L-L-L-S, T-T-T, T-O-T, T-O-B-T, T-S, Double Okay, that's it, yeah, that's what I meant to say. And that was fast and furiously morbid. It was very sinister.

1:23.2

He came in like a wrecking ball.

1:27.6

He came with now.

1:28.6

Now he's being very conservative with his words.

1:30.4

You notice he just suddenly is like...

1:31.9

Well, he's saving his pennies for a rainy day he's going

1:35.4

it's raining blood in his mind he's gonna use just big words now get the most out of them and you know whose blood it is

1:42.2

Thomas you and mine it's is, Thomas, you and mine.

1:43.6

It's our blood.

1:44.6

Look, Brett, you're allowed as many words as you done.

1:46.6

Okay, good, good, good, good, good.

1:49.5

But that was definitely, and I would like our, is there a double threat historian listening

1:56.9

I think there's multiple I see on the discord everyone you know there's definitely people on there

2:03.2

wiki kind of person because I I suspect I pause it I would wager that that's the

2:09.3

quickest you chimed in about the darkest thing.

2:13.1

Yeah, yeah, I would agree with that.

2:14.5

So if we graft the two, like on an X Y axis.

2:17.9

Okay, women and stem.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Forever Dog, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Forever Dog and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.