An A&E original podcast.

This episode contains descriptions of sexual assault, violence, and suicidal ideation.

Listener discretion is advised.

He named me his name.

He gave me his years in the military.

He gave me his, you know, when we got to the house, he talked about

his family. He didn't try and hide anything. He didn't try and pose to be someone who had to

hide. It's only after he hit that crack, then he changed into something different.

Vanessa Gay grew up in Cleveland, Ohio, and was raised a Jehovah's Witness.

I had two brothers and a sister. My brother had sickle cell anemia. It was like a lot on my mom.

She was a single parent, and I didn't want to be a burden.

So everything that I did, I had to do the best at. In high school, I had to be the best.

I couldn't get bees or Cs. I would feel very like I was a failure. And I think that

developed into my adult life.

I was always an overachiever.

I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

And when you go against what you're taught,

sometimes negative things happen.

I met my husband, or who came to be my husband.

And from then on, that's where I started to use drugs.

That's where crack entered into my story.

He was lacing weed with crack, and I didn't know.

...