Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from two to five PM Eastern time on serious XM.

I'm 11 SB welcome to the program. I Dr. Laura. It's an honor to have you listen to my question.

You're welcome. Um, okay. How do I overcome this sadness? Maybe guilt for not having kept my family, my marriage and my family together?

Okay. Did you have the power by yourself to keep the family together? Was that solely within your power? Yes or no? No. Then guilt is not relevant. It's sadness.

Okay. And how can you not be sad? They don't overcome sadness. Over time we become less sad, less sad. But it's always that little kernel. I mean, do you have any scars on your body on your skin? I've got a.

I do good. The skin's intact. It functions, but a scar always reminds you of what happened, but it doesn't hurt anymore. You don't think about it anymore. But it's there because it's part of our experience.

Well, sadness over something that's lost is part of our life experience. So we can't get rid of it. We can just minimize its power over us by doing the best in the future that we can.

Okay. And what is that interferes with my current relationship because I'm with my current person that I'm dating and I think what are you doing? What are you doing wrong to him?

Tell me what you're doing wrong to him.

And I am enjoying the now with that person. Well, then leave him alone and wait till you're ready. People are not people do not exist for your experimentation.

All right, that's true. Okay. If you're not ready for the here and now, let yourself get ready. Give yourself a break. Okay. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah.

Okay.

Thank you. So hard. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Even though it's been seven years now since my divorce. Well, it's because you've been hard on yourself and never let it go.

You've been beating yourself up over it. Yeah. You kept it alive for seven years. It's a great story. I've told on the air these monks live high in the mountains somewhere. And they have rules. One of the rules is you can't talk. Obviously, I could not join them.

You cannot talk and you can't touch a woman. Okay. So three of these monks have to walk on this long trip to go get something or other and bring it back to the monastery.

And they get to this small river, not real big stream, more of a big stream. And there's a young woman there. Obviously too small, too frail to really be able to get through this because of the current.

So one of the monks goes over, picks her up, carries her to the other side, puts her down. The three monks keep walking. They walk for eight hours.

Eight hours they walk. No, for you, I'm going to change it to seven. They walked for seven hours. Finally, the other two monks couldn't stand that anymore. And they turned on him to recommend him by speaking ironically.

You know, you're not supposed to touch a woman. You carried her through the water. And he said, I picked her up. I carried her through the water. I put her down on the other side. You two have been carrying her for seven hours.

Wow. Okay.

I love that one. Yes. Okay. He put her down here. You he was done. Right. Right.

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