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I'm on dry am 111. Oh need a welcome to the program. Thank you doctor Laura. I just want to tell you that you may not be in private practice anymore. But when I'm driving and I'm not on your catch, I'm on my bucket seat. And you are my therapist.

Thank you. What can I do for you today? Well, 16 years ago, I cut off all contact with my mom.

Because because she was making my life miserable, my marriage miserable. How was she making her marriage miserable? How did she do that?

She was putting me in position that I felt like I needed not to discuss with my husband and she'd been in middle institutes my whole life in and out. And it was there was guns and all that costabbing and driving over my dad and stuff growing up. It was a bad bad.

And finally, she had said and done enough lies and twisted my words that I just I had to do it. And it's been the greatest thing in the world. But she's on her deathbed now. And I kind of feel guilty for not feeling guilty.

That I don't feel bad. I don't feel happy, but I don't feel sad that she's fixing the past away because she tried to create suicide.

So you believe you believe that if somebody is incredibly evil, destructive, dangerous, that you should feel that it's normal to feel bad if they're not there anymore. I don't get that. I think you would feel relief.

In a way I do, but I wish I could have before she passed this, I wish I could have been the daughter she wanted. And I never I never could I never would be.

I don't understand with what you described. You've got this backwards.

I do. You have this backwards. You have not had any counseling. You're actually seeing this backwards that somebody can be dangerous and destructive. And you're supposed to be a better daughter to it. That sounds a little nuts actually.

Because I want to please her and make her happy. And I'll never be able to do that.

Because you have failed or because she's so mentally disturbed, it can't happen, which is it?

Mentally, mentally disturbed.

Well, then trying as hard as you did over all those years was an error.

And that's why I've been cut off for 16 years and.

Listen to me. I'm talking to you. Don't go back into stories.

What did I say that you just passed over? Tell me what I said.

That it was a waste of my time and I was to go back over and over and over the relationship that we had. And that I was backward.

You described somebody who had no capability of being a mother.

So how could you then task yourself with being a good daughter to that? How does that make sense?

It doesn't, but I guess in my mind, I thought, if I do this better, if I do this better, if I do this better.

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