The fear has been with me for as long as I can remember.

I don't know if I was born scared or whether the fear first came to me during my childhood,

nature or nurture, or perhaps it's something deeper and more difficult to comprehend.

In a way, it doesn't actually matter.

The odd thing is how I can't really explain what causes it.

What is it that I'm afraid of?

Failure, showing weakness, people judging me?

Or perhaps I just can't stand the thought of letting people down, of being a disappointment,

racked with guilt for the rest of my days.

A great leader once said, we have nothing to fear but fear itself.

A good philosophy.

I wish I could live by it, but unfortunately it's not so simple.

And, of course, mental health professionals will tell you that fear is a perfectly natural response to stress or danger.

The fight, flight, or freeze

reflex.

I suppose it's imprinted into our DNA.

It's how our brain reacts, an instinct that we can't control.

But for people like me, the fear, guilt, and self-loathing can become overwhelming, so

much so that the depression and anxiety

we feel becomes crippling, preventing us from living our lives or functioning at even

the most basic level.

Over the years, I've suffered from these negative emotions almost constantly.

...