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I'm 11 Chris. Welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Thanks for taking my call. You're welcome. What can I do for you, Chris?

Well, here's my question. I have been divorced for about, well, I've been out of the house for almost nine years. And I left my husband of 29 years because she was emotionally abusive.

And can you give me sort of an example of emotionally abusive. So I get a good picture.

I was, my life basically was on the head of the pen. So I, he got angry if I had any outside interest. I like I started running and riding the bike. And he, I would come home and he would just see.

And so I would do it before he woke up in the morning, either when he woke up to get ready for work and he still got mad.

Okay, we made a wise choice when we picked him. So you walked out. You're out of there. And what's happening now?

My older sister and my mother to some extent still, it was bad. I like, I lost 40 pounds. I walked out of my house with nothing.

Did your family know all this on an ongoing way? I was not allowed to tell them.

Well, that doesn't stop anybody from telling them. Well, it does. If you're afraid, afraid that you would kill you, were you afraid you would kill you?

No, no, no, no, it wasn't. It was what we were afraid of.

His, I was afraid of his anger. He's been angry at me. In any case, they eventually did know because eventually it came out, but.

How many years of marriage did you have with him before they knew?

I'm sorry, I didn't answer you. How many years of marriage?

Before they knew.

29. But it was only really bad for the last five, I would say.

The problem is, is they spent three decades thinking he was just fine. And I think that's going to be important for what comes next. Go ahead.

Go ahead.

I didn't hear what you said. He said it's going to be important. I said go ahead. I said go ahead. Go ahead. Keep going.

My question was, is it reasonable for me to? Well, I've already asked. I guess what do I do when my older sister in particular still puts my ex has been on a pedestal and continues to communicate with them.

Send a Christmas card. Stopover is house to the point where, you know, he's invited to my her daughters wedding seated at the family table with his girlfriend.

Okay, that's enough, that's enough description. So tell me about the relationship that you had since childhood with your sister.

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