Am I the jerk for dropping off my stepkids with my in-laws and saying that they are not my problem anymore?

My wife passed away just before last Thanksgiving.

It came out of nowhere and I'm somewhat broken.

To make it worse, my stepkids have decided that since I'm not their father, they don't have to obey me anymore.

They are teens and they have never been my biggest fans. They love their

dad and I was only ever their mum's husband. However, when Dina was alive, they treated our home

well and me with respect. After she died, they became jerks. Yes, I know their mum died, it sucks,

but that was my wife and the mother of my children. I'm also having a tough time dealing with it. Their paternal grandparents are also trashing on me for not being more understanding of all they're going through. I've tried. I've offered them counselling. I've given them space. I've been there for them. I'm at my wits end. The last straw was when we were over there for supper last week. I said it was

time to go so I could get the littles to bed. My stepkids said that they didn't want to go and that I

should leave them and come back for them. It is a two hour drive. I said no. Their grandparents said

I was being too hard on them and that I should let them stay. I'm having a hard time with two

small children, the loss of my wife and two teen jerks without having my in-laws pile on to make

my life more difficult. So I did. I also packed up their stuff. Instead of coming back for them,

I dropped off their stuff at their grandparents' house. I have two kids under five

to take care of. I don't really have time to baby two teens that are just making my life harder.

My house is clean for the first time in weeks. My kids are sleeping through the night. My stepkids

are living with their uncle in the same city as me so they can finish high school with their

friends. Everyone on their dad's side is against me. I really don't care. I was told by both of them and by

their father that I am not to try and parent them. So I'm not. I actually do not have any parental

rights over them. Their dad was not even okay with me being a contact for them at school, so his parents bear the contact.

My wife left behind a small life insurance policy, which I will divide between the four kids.

But I was the breadwinner in my house.

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