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Lauren, welcome to the program.

Hi, Dr. Laura. How are you?

Good. What can I do for you?

So my question is my husband and I recently experienced a miscarriage in January and the day after I had my DNC surgery, I found out that my best friend was pregnant with her second child.

And we would have been due about a month apart and I just can't stop thinking about how far along I would have been every time I think about my friend.

So I haven't really felt like spending any time with her. I think I'm just really jealous and I'm just interested in I want not to be selfish and I'm kind to her.

I just don't know what to do.

Okay, first I should say been there experienced this. So your feelings are totally human and normal.

And the best way to combat those feelings is to reach out to her with her joy.

Okay.

Sounds hard to do, but you'd be surprised how much better it makes you feel to be nice right now. You're getting torn up not only by the loss of your baby, but how disgusted you are with yourself.

So we're just going to go down to the loss of the baby and you're not going to be disgusted by yourself anymore because you're going to reach out to her, bring a present.

You're just going to act like a wonderful good happy friend. You're going to behave like that and it's going to help you feel better.

But losing a baby at any stage is traumatic.

As I said, been there done that.

Thank you. I think I really needed to hear that.

Yeah, and I had pregnant friend and I felt the same way you reach out makes you feel better. Try a little when you go home, but you feel better.

Okay, I can do that.

I know you can.

Thank you.

And hopefully the next time will be the charm.

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