I Don’t Do… with Julian Clary
Comedy of the Week
BBC
3.8 • 2.8K Ratings
🗓️ 22 December 2025
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I Don’t Do…Christmas! is a brand new, gloriously mischievous panel show for people who’d, well, rather not.
Julian Clary hosts a yuletide celebration like no other, joined by comedians Jo Brand, Glenn Moore and Fatiha El-Ghorri, with special guest Gareth Malone.
Hosted and Created by Julian Clary
Featuring: Jo Brand, Fatiha El-Ghorri, Glenn Moore Special Guest: Gareth Malone
Additional Material: Andrew White
Sound: David Thomas Production Manager: Laura Shaw Producer: Charlie Dinkin Executive Producer: Benjamin Sutton
A Daddy’s Superyacht production for BBC Radio 4
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, podcasts. |
| 0:07.0 | My Christmas Mix is pure 90s festive nostalgia. |
| 0:11.1 | You know, the Christmas songs you listen to on repeat. |
| 0:14.0 | Ho! |
| 0:14.3 | Ho! Ho! No, no, no. |
| 0:17.5 | I'm all about the big hitting Christmas anthems. |
| 0:20.4 | Come on, guys. What about those tunes that really slay? |
| 0:23.7 | It's Christmas kitchen disco season, surely. |
| 0:26.4 | Give me hip-hip-christmas bangers every day. |
| 0:28.6 | Those Christmas tracks that are straight out of Lapland. |
| 0:30.9 | Get all kinds of Christmassy. |
| 0:32.6 | Just search Christmas music on BBC Sounds. |
| 0:57.2 | Hello, it's me, Julian Cl, Cam Comic and Renowned Homosexual. |
| 1:04.8 | This is my brand new panel show I Don't Do, where I explain exactly what I won't do and why. |
| 1:09.0 | Things like dancing, selfies, men with hairy backs. |
| 1:10.8 | You get to an age where you can't be asked, don't you? |
| 1:14.2 | And as it is apparently Christmas, guess what I'm not doing this evening? |
| 1:19.1 | Crystal meth. |
| 1:22.2 | I'm saving that for New Year's Eve. |
| 1:26.1 | Christmas is a bit of a tricky one. |
| 1:27.9 | I mean, you might as well say I don't do Wednesdays, |
| 1:30.2 | but they still happen, don't they? |
... |
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