I Don't Consider Myself to be a Victim, so How Do I Accept the Reality of my Abusive Relationship? [249]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Emotional, Narcissism, Christianity, Abuse, Religion & Spirituality, Spiritual, Christian, Self-improvement, Education, Divorce, Marriage

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 14 November 2023

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Many emotional abuse victims have been accused of having a victim mentality—as if the abuse isn’t real. Some victims don’t like to be labeled a “victim.” It sounds weak and powerless. Recently, one of my listeners asked this question: “How do we accept the reality of abuse without living as a victim?”

In today’s episode we’re going to clear up this confusion by answering the following questions:

What are ten characteristics of someone who has a victim mentality?
What are the ten characteristics of someone who is a true victim?
What are ten ways we go from victim to survivor?

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free Now.com and you're listening to the
0:09.3	Flying Free Podcast, a support resource for Women of Faith, looking for hope and healing from hidden
0:16.4	emotional and spiritual abuse.
0:21.1	Welcome to episode 249 of the Flying Free Podcast. Today we have a question from a
0:28.3	listener so let's hear what she has to say.
0:31.1	Hi Natalie so here's my question.
0:35.0	In order to move towards healing, I've had to stop living in denial and admit that what
0:40.6	I experienced was abuse. I'm struggling with that realization because if it's true, it also means that I'm a victim. I don't want to live as a victim.
0:52.0	So how do we accept the reality of the abuse and not continue to live as a victim?
1:01.3	Thanks for your help. Okay I actually wrote an article about this a few years ago so I'm
1:07.3	going to draw from what I wrote in that article and then I'll share it with you all here on the
1:11.6	podcast. So first of all let's talk about what a
1:14.0	victim is. According to dictionary.com, a victim is a person who has been
1:19.8	harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.
1:27.0	So this just means that if you are a person who's been harmed by another person, such as in an emotionally or spiritually, financially, physically, whatever kind of
1:36.8	abusive relationship it is, that means that you are a victim of that harm. Now do we like to be victims? No, nobody likes to be a
1:46.9	victim for a lot of different reasons. But when we resist that reality, just
1:50.9	as this listener pointed out, or we fight reality, we can end up with mental health problems, which is,
1:57.0	ironically, just one more result of being a victim of abuse.
2:00.7	So one of the ways that you can mitigate some of the results of being a victim is by simply
2:06.5	accepting the fact, the reality that someone or something has victimized you.
2:13.0	And we call this radical acceptance of reality,
	...

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