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Welcome to our slash nuclear event where this genius comes up with the simplest,

most beautiful way to destroy 300 pounds worth of meat.

A neighbor hit my car and lied about it, so I ruined 300 pounds of meat while he was on vacation.

This happened about five or six years ago.

For some context, my neighbor, we'll call him Chester, is your stereotypical weekend outdoorsman type.

He owns at least 10 different baseball caps and they all have camo on them.

He's one of those.

He drives a Jeep, which will be important later, and usually spends his weekends either hunting,

fishing, or prepping for when the bombs drop.

...