"I COMMITTED MARRIAGE FRAUD"

Therapy Gecko

iHeartPodcasts

Society & Culture, Philosophy, Comedy Interviews, Comedy

4.9 • 951 Ratings

🗓️ 25 May 2022

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A caller tells me how he married his platonic male best friend in order to receive better benefits from his job and how the marriage has been going so far. Next a man and I unpack his childhood relationship with his father and discuss whether or not he should attempt to make amends in his adult life. We also talk to a caller experiencing a toilet paper shortage conflict with his roommates, dig into the semi-universal experience of imposter syndrome, and weigh in on the age old debate of which way you should wipe your ass. One day we will all be evaporated by a meteor. So have fun while you can. I am a gecko.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Scotty.
0:01.0	Ah, first, let's go.
0:03.6	Scotty, it says here that you have been actively committing marriage fraud for money and you've been doing it for a year now and you are not worried in the slightest
0:18.0	that you will get caught.
0:19.6	What exactly is marriage fraud
0:27.0	So, yeah.
0:28.0	So, yeah.
0:30.0	In my job, if you're married, you get paid significantly more money.
0:37.0	You get, yeah, more than double.
0:41.0	So, me and one of my buddies from,
0:45.8	oh I've known for a very, very long time since like kindergarten.
0:48.8	So over a decade, decided to just get married. And now I make a bunch of money and I buy him things sometimes
0:56.2	and it all works out good for the both of us. Now when you say you decided to get married
1:07.2	what is the fraud element of this? Are you and your buddy legally married?
1:12.1	We are, yeah.
1:14.0	Well, Scotty, I have news for you.
1:17.0	If you and your buddy are legally married, there is no fraud being taken place.
1:22.0	I guess that's... being taken place.
1:27.0	I guess that's true, but it could still get me in trouble. Why would that get you in trouble?
1:32.0	Well, if they, uh, they found out at work that I just married to get paid, then I could definitely get some trouble.
1:44.0	That doesn't make a lot of sense to me because okay what's the whole point of
1:48.0	well first of what what job do you work where they pay you double for getting married I haven haven't heard of that before. I know that there's like tax benefits or whatever, but I haven't I've never heard of a job paying you extra for that.
	...

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