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Try and 11. Nora, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call. Thank you.

I just wanted to ask you if you had any advice specifically around grief. I lost recently my dearest best friend for over 25 years, about 5 months ago due to liver cancer.

She was only 37 years old and then within weeks I lost. I know my therapist that I've been talking to for over 15 years due to cancer as well within the same month.

And I've never had any kind of like serious loss in my life before so I've been really struggling with. Why were you in therapy for 15 years?

Wow. On and off. Yeah, well, I'm in recovery. So that's something that, you know, I just am constantly wanting to stay on top of and he's been a big part of that process for me.

So, but you know, on and off for the past 15 years, not every week for 15 years. That would have been fun. What did you learn from him on and off in 15 years?

I mean, there's there are no words like he's always in the back of my mind very much so like you. He does he did cognitive behavioral therapy. So he kind of specified to help me kind of get back in touch with my body and the feelings in my body because it was so kind of out of touch with that.

And help me decide whether or not I wanted to do something about that. Those feelings in the moment and just learned how to control myself and made different aspects of my life.

I feel like he's made me a better person, a bit better mom. Well, then is it his legacy that you no longer need him?

I think so. Sit with that for a moment. Sit with that for a moment. Don't answer me. Sit with that for a moment.

Like a parent, he's been 18 years raising you and then their biggest dream is that you can do life without them because everything else has been brought into your mind heart and soul.

Well, I'm wondering the same thing after 15 very formative and constructive years. You should not need him anymore and that would be great compliment to the two of you.

Instead of racing off to find a new therapist.

I like that. I do. I mean, I absolutely do. I think if it if if my I wouldn't have lost my best friend of like 25 years, I think I would have it would have been easier not to talk to somebody right now, but we're not we're not talking about easier.

You learned so much from him. I think you're underestimating what you can handle. Having learned so much with that intense therapeutic relationship that you had.

I believe it's likely that you are underestimating your ability to cope.

Hmm. Have you ever thought of it like that?

Yes.

You have thought till the day he died that you absolutely would need him forever.

And that's not true. If you guys did a good job over a decade and a half.

And it's time for you to fly out of the nest and rely on yourself and feel bad.

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